Update

[Hope 98]

Just a quick note to let y'all know that my 15 yr. old is home. I don't really know what prompted it, but she's here.

She is not feeling well - a cold or flu coming on - and stomach problems, so she's touchy. Sorta wanting mom, & sorta wanting to fight with me. This is soooo hard.

I'll fill you in later. I think I need to get some sleep for right now.

[Leslie]

Hope,

Yay! I'm so glad she's home.

You wrote: "Sorta wanting mom, & sorta wanting to fight with me."

In a way, it sounds like now she's givng you regular ol' garden-variety teenage stuff! Hope she mends soon, and that that's just the start of the mending . . . .

Leslie

[Janice]

[I]Just a quick note to let y'all know that my 15 yr. old is home. I don't really know what prompted it, but she's here.

Uh..yes you DO know what promted it! Prayer is a powerful thing! Glad she's home. :D

She is not feeling well - a cold or flu coming on - and stomach problems, so she's touchy. Sorta wanting mom, & sorta wanting to fight with me. This is soooo hard.

Hang in there (((((((Hope))))!

[Theodora]

Just a quick note to let y'all know that my 15 yr. old is home. I don't really know what prompted it, but she's here.

She is not feeling well - a cold or flu coming on - and stomach problems, so she's touchy. Sorta wanting mom, & sorta wanting to fight with me. This is soooo hard.

I'll fill you in later. I think I need to get some sleep for right now.

Hope you were able to get some good sleep and that today will go OK. Insofar as it is possible, try to remain as calm as possible (and don't approach "issues" right now. That will come later.)

Your comment "Sorta wanting mom, & sorta wanting to fight with me." really resonates with my memories of our "challenges" when our sons were that age. Hold your ground and don't allow her to pick that fight. A "broken-record" approach of "tabling the discussion" can be helpful....e.g. "That's not an appropriate topic right now. We'll talk about this when you're not ill"...or something like that. With our older son, there were times when he was SO angry that nothing would do but a fight, but it always seemed a way for him to justify his own feelings (and not deal with them) rather than out of anything I had "done" (or not done.") You're right.....This IS very hard!!!!

Prayers for all continue. Thanks for letting us know what is going on.

Theodora

[Hope 98]

I'm finding it very very hard to stay calm.

She;s been absolutely miserable since her arrival. We re-established some rules that we had relaxed because things seemed to be going well for a while.

I'm really angry with her right now - something I don't think I had been before.

She's crying because she's been told that she's not allowed on the computer until her schoolwork is caught up.

We've told her that her current circumstances are her own fault. She has lied, disobeyed, and been selfish and rude.

grrrrr...

[Janice]

Hang in there Hope! Remember YOU are the mom and your HUBBY is the dad!

You guys make the rules, not her!

[Billie]

Hope,
Remain firm someday she will thank you. God Bless, Billie

[jane]

Hope-
let me get this straight, She came home after that big crisis where she told someone that she wasn't safe around you???

Has she ever been evaluated? Some things are just teenage things- but what you describe sounds a little more extreme emotionally.

Has she been seen by someone who can see if she has borderline personality disorder or something?

I would document that she returned, when she returned and all the details that you can think of. Just in case that report that she files comes back in your face.

(((hugs))) to you.

I am not having any more children :confused:

jane

[Hope 98]

She has been to several counselors and each one has a different opinion. The possibility of bipolar disorder has been considered. She has been diagnosed as having depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and is taking Zoloft. I know that is controversial, but it seems that if she takes it consistently, it's extremely helpful. She was not taking her medication while she was away.

I suspect that she may also have some form or degree of disassociative disorder.

While my husband IS on my side and improving in the way he's handling things, he hesitates to step out in front and take charge. My family on the other hand seems to have a vested interest in considering ME "the problem".

It's never been easy for me to trust anyone. The healthcare community has pretty much set fire to what little faith I may have ever had in them.

[butterfly]

:) [[[[Hope]]]] If you daughter needs medication she needs it period! I get so upset with christians who say we shouldn"t take medication for our disorders. I hope things will work out with your daughter.
My heart goes out to you and your daughter also it must be hard for her to go thru all of this at 15. :( butterfly

[Kerrin]

((((((((Hope ))))))))
I pray I didn't trigger that angst in you!
It's the nurse in me!
Trying to understand why a Teenager is on Zoloft, thats all.
last night I sat and listened to Amy's friends dad justify why she SHOULD take a caffeine laoded drink called red bull before netball games...........to make her aggressive........ :confused: He really pushes her to succeed and I hate it, sorry I'm sidetracking as this is nothing like your situation; this is that beautiful girl I showed you the pic of who thinks she's ugly!!!
And she's stunning!!
( She confided in me the drink makes her have palpitations! I took her to a game once when her parents were away, and she exhibited ALL the signs of Asthma.'I asked her if she'd ever tried a puff of Ventolin beofore a game? She said Yes and it helped!!!!!
Parents wouldn't listen, rather load her up on straight up caffeine!
Up until very recently you couldn't buy caffeine like that over the counter and in pills!! ( I noticed when I was in Texas they were freely avalable).
I have a very good questionaire we use on our patience to diagnose PTSD........ :o

Anyway I digressed again! :o
Sorry.
I hope I didn't upset you, if she has Zoloft and it helps thats' great, it's unusual for treatment in Bi-Polar though..........sorry, the nurse again.........I'll shut up now! :o

You're doing great though don't forget that!!
Love
Kerrin ;)

[Carmen]

Hi Hope,

I agree with Butterfly, don't take her off the medication if it is helping her. I remember being a teenager was difficult, sometimes I had that feeling that I needed cuddling and wished I would still fit in my mother's lap, and sometimes I wanted to break away from her authority (she is a good mom). My cat's attitude reminds me of myself at that time. My daughter is only 10 but is starting to behave that way, too. Ugh! Well, that is the way they are. Just cuddle them when they want it, that is very important and stick to the rules you set up too. Teens need guidelines and discipline even though they don't like them.

Carmen

[Hope 98]

I can easily ignore the supposed christian viewpoint about not needing medication.

The controversy I was refering to is that the use of Zoloft - especially by teens, has been cited in by defense lawyers as causing violent behavior. Zoloft has been only recently legally approved for people under 18, and it is only supposed to be prescribed for one of the 4 or 5 diagnoses that Zoloft can be prescribed for. I forget which one it is.

My frustration is primarily based on the fact that we have been to 3 psychiatrists, a neurologist, family doctors, several ER doctors and ambulance personel, at least 6 professional counselors and an intensive outpatient program. Added to that is the involvement of school counselors and nurses, teachers, pastors, friends, and my family.

Not only do the professionals tend to disagree with each other, they tend to discredit each other.

Kerrin - you've done NOTHING to distress me. I appreciate your expertise in nursing and your compassionate nature.

I've come to believe that safe people are the ones who are willing to acknowledge that they are NOT always right, and will work through the hurt feelings to reach understanding even if it doesn't come to an agreement.

Lots of safe people here :)

Lots of REALLY UNSAFE people in my family :(

[Autumn]

(((((((((((((((((Hi Hope))))))))))))))))))))))))~

I love your name by the way. My son, got the wrong treatment and it has cost us plenty, let me say I have lost the faith in the psych community overall.

he and all of us could have used anger management which was'nt available back in 1985.

It is a hard time to be a teenager in my opinion more today than ever before, and how much harder to be the parent of a teenager. It seems all of it is working against the healthy family senerio as we seek desperately for help.

I say go with your gut instincts. Hug her even if she protests. and take care of you. if you don't you won't have anything to give to a soul.

that said I do believe in the right meds. I do believe their are good people out there in the therapy proffession who are trying very hard within their limited humanity. Ptsd is the thing to deal with. I'm beg. to think mabe all people have it whethor or not they are aware. This is a very confusing world to live in, how much more difficult for a confused teenager with raging hormones. I pray that you find the right help at the right time. i would hate to see you guys suffer as we have.

Take care Hope, you are in my prayers. all of you, autumn

[Hope 98]

Autumn - I love your name too! It has been my favorite season for as long as I can remember, though I'm a bit disappointed in this year's excessive rain.

Anyway - my parents named me Barbara. I know I've posted it before, and some folks here are very familiar with the story - but the short version is that I believe with all my heart that God named me Hope.

I've been going through this mess for at least two years now. Oh how I pray that it doesn't get worse.