I've been slammed, help I have fallen and I can't get up!

[jane]

It has been over a year since I left that freaking cult.

I am so upset right now I am going to puke. I need to cry but my eyes are dry. I am pissed. I am sick. I am ...........................


I was invited to a pampered chef's party by a woman who is still a member.

I went.

DO I NEED TO SAY MORE??????????????

I am obviously a sadistic person who enjoys placing myself in torture chambers periodically for the freaking fun of it.


What the hell was I thinking of??????????????

[Hope 98]

I can imagine what might have happened Jane, but I can't help wondering what DID happen. A Pampered Chef party? Was that just a cover for some bogus sort of excorcism?

I show them a demon or two man....

Hand me a big mirror!

[jane]

The woman who had it at her house is someone I am still in contact with a little bit.

She emailed me an invitation with a list of names on the email going out to us all.

The people invited were safe, or so I thought.

One woman I thought is like a sister. She has come to one of my fires this summer- she is supportive of us.

The pampered chef woman was not affiliated with this church at all.

The woman is who like a sister, well I will call her Rose.

We have a history- I watched her kids for free after school every day for a while. She is a single parent and well, I was one.

She decided to tell me that she could not believe that she saw me tonight, that it was confirmation because she had been praying.

[jane]

so after the demonstration, she felt compelled to share with me what she thinks she is hearing from God about me and my husband returning.


I AM SO F'ING MAD THINKING ABOUT IT> IN FRONT OF A ROOM OF PEOPLE< THE ONE PERSON I TRUSTED> USED FREAKING BRAINWASHING CONTRADICTING CONDEMING DOUBLE TALK!

I GOT MAD!

SHE SAID< "GOD ALLOWED THE TRIALS WE WENT THROUGH BECAUSE WE HAVE A CALL ON OUR LIFE TO TAKE IN MESSED UP CHILDREN WITH MORE PROBLEMS THAN WHAT I SAW AT OUR CHURCH> GOD TRAINED ME SO I WOULD BE EQUIPPED

BUT UNTIL TONY AND I LET FORGIVENESS IN< AND WITHIN THE FOLD OF VICTORY TABLERNACE THAN GOD COULD NOT RELEASE THE ANNOINTING AND HANNAH"S HAVEN......................

I got defensive- and said, GOD DOESN"T Want my children abused. I have a first responsibility to GOD for their condition......if what happened to them was in the world, people would have been arrested, it was child abuse!

I can't even talk anymore. I am unclear, shaking, angry and afraid.

I need Jesus to tear down that freaking demonic stronghold. People are dying in there.

[jane]

I told her about the teasing of my infant baby's penis size-
and comments about it not falling far from the tree- referring to my husband as I rounded the corner to the nursery...............

how I refused to let anyone change him. How I was told after two years of changing him myself that I needed to let go of it. Everytime they paged me from the sermon to change him I was missing being "fed"

**** I wasn't missing anything- the sermon was the same rhetoric over and over again. Clinton sucked. Bush is righteous. He's annointed. We're going to be on t.v. you can't outgive God..........blah blah blah blah blah.

BUT I WAS OBEDIENT AND SUBMISSIVE> I LET THEM CHANGE MY BABY>

but no one did. weird I thought, I am still being beeped.

[jane]

well one queen witch who was my friend was gossiping....

forgot she was gossiping to the person the gossip was about.

Told me how terrible my son's poop smelled. So bad no one would change him. When she realized it was me, changed the kids name to the other boy toddler.

I am not dumb.

Listened behind the door the following nursery.

To hear them tauting my baby about how bad he stunk and it was not normal "oh you got smelly poopy" that people do for fun with babies.

It was condeming mean and hateful spit on my son-- "YOUR POOP IS AWFUL NO ONE IS GOING TO CHANGE THAT SMELLY CRAP" and so on.

DID LEADERSHIP HANDLE IT??????????????????????????????????????


well, I was told that I was overreacting.

wrong answer.

No one treats any of my children like this.

OK OK OK I know I told all these stories before- it is just back so vividly in my face and my hands are shaking about how I felt for my children. It is real again. I feel like puking.

I am so glad we are out of there.

gonna call the woman and cancel my order. I feel used and set up.

[jane]

When we left, my husband told this woman that he felt like a pot bound plant and was time to be transplanted into a different pot.


Tonight she "PROPHESIED" to me that some may feel that they are pot bound and transplant themselves- but it isn't from the lord because when the lord transplants there is a new planting --- basically that we are not in another church so that is evidence that there is no garden for us to be planted in because we belong to Victory Tabernacle.


Oh and how many times she said self rightously and smugly that we will be back because that is where we belong----

that God is not going to build Hannah's Haven until we surrender and forgive and return.....................

That she sees us already in the spirit in front of the church with our hands lifted up and praising God for the work done in us while we were tormented by them and trained for his service.......

but we won't be at the pulpit praising until we forgive, get rid of bitterness and return................


SCREW THEM ALL> IF I AM POSSESSED THAN FRANKLY I PREFER THIS OVER THAT FREAKING HORRIBLE BONDAGE THAT I WAS IN>

THEY DON"T SERVE THE SAME GOD.

[Hope 98]

Aw Jane - I'm so sorry for what you went through.

Don't know if there's anything worse than being blindsided by people you thought you could trust.

What an awful "blame the victim" tactic - I'm so sick of the accusations of unforgiveness!!!!!

Bitterness & unforgiveness are heart conditions - ONLY and I MEAN ONLY - GOD - the one and only Creator & Redeemer is able to KNOW anyone's heart!

People who play that stupid phrase over and over again have always been the least likely to say that they are sorry. It's blame-shifting at its worst. When you can't figure out what someone did to incite you to sin - skip the repentance and go straight to accusations of unforgiveness.

I pray that you will be able to shake off the crap. It doesn't belong to you.

I'm remembering someone who once said to put it "in an envelope" and give it back to the one who gave it to you, and say "No, thank you."

Simple enough - but not easy - I know.

uh - as for the puking - we could maybe take turns holding each other's hair?

And another thing I just thought. God's position on sin is forgiveness - if you've sinned - he forgives.

His position toward the victims of unspeakable cruelty is understanding. For some, Jesus went to the cross to be the perfect sacrifice for all sin. For others, Jesus went to the cross so that we would know that before he judges us, he has walked much more than a mile in our shoes (in our skin, our humanness and frailty). Listen, can your hear him? Without a hint of condescention or patronizing, he is sitting beside you, arm around your shoulder. He is saying, "I know, dear one, I know"

[Voyager]

Jane,

Hold on. You can't let them get the better of you. It's not worth it. The best way to get away from it - is to just get away from it. Get away from the people. Get away from the thoughts. They are all negative. They will bring you down into depression. I know, I have lived there. It's not a good place to live.

Take those horrible thoughts and delete them like unwanted spam emails. You have the power to do it. They don't own your mind. They are just unwanted spam. Delete them out of the delete box even. You have the power to do it.

I'm not trying to hype you up or preach some kind of positive "be happy" message. I am just giving you a survival plan. It's working for me. You can't let them take your mind over. It's the only thing you have absolute control over.

:cool:

[Jerry]

Dear Sweet Jane,,,,
I have a little message for "Victory Tabernacle",,,,Ezekiel 13 verses 17 - 23. ;)
Now as far as the Baby,,,,,We have 3 sons 1 daughter grown and on their own,,,we have 8 grandchildren,,,,,You can leave the Baby at our house,,,we don't mind changing the Baby,,,,,,just another "Tip-toe Through The Tulips" for us :D My wife and I are the "Sultons" of poop.
Love Jerry

[Satscout]

Dear Sweet Jane,,,,
I have a little message for "Victory Tabernacle",,,,Ezekiel 13 verses 17 - 23. ;)
Now as far as the Baby,,,,,We have 3 sons 1 daughter grown and on their own,,,we have 8 grandchildren,,,,,You can leave the Baby at our house,,,we don't mind changing the Baby,,,,,,just another "Tip-toe Through The Tulips" for us :D My wife and I are the "Sultons" of poop.
Love Jerry

Andrew seems to only poop when he's asleep. After five and a half years out of my womb, I still change his poopy (now) trainers. And they would probably be much much smellier than an infant's, because he has a five year old diet and not an infant diet.

I'm tempted to say "bring it on!"... but then again, he knows better than to squirm, and an infant doesn't... so I can volunteer a little less enthusiastically. ;)

[Willow]

(((((((((((((((((((((((Jane))))))))))))))))))))))) )))

I'm going to revel in the day that Hannah's House ministry is off the ground and running in spite of the false prophesy against you. Keep your vision and begin making plans toward it! Who the heck needs a church's approval anyway? There's so many opportunities to give and love and serve out in the world it's overwhelming. If you limit yourself to what the church ordains, most of the world need is not in the package.

Please... go do something proactive to start Hannah's House! Go volunteer at a foster care place... or something small... but just do something to put a negative on that woman's comments!

Love Ya
Amy

[SpinningHead]

Jane Dear,

Personally speaking, I might have said something really tactful and delicate to deflate the situation...something like,

Are you a freakin' loonatic or what??? We're here buying pots, pans & bakeware having a nice time & you're doing some half-baked attempt at being "spiritual" and ruining this lovely party for our hostess?? What is freakin' wrong with you???? :eek: No wonder I left that place! And for the record, there's no way you could convince me God would want me to put my child in harm's way like he was exposed to while at that place! If you're not interested in buying a lovely lemon zester, I'm sure we'd all appreciate it if you left because I know I would!

You know, something really uplifting and confirming. :p

What's interesting to me is how some people have the nerve to say "you need to forgive and return...blah blah blah". (I am now getting this from some of my own people who are starting to call and "check up".) I firmly reply, as long as you're acknowledging that there is something to forgive, then you won't have a problem acknowledging that the offenders need to take responsibility for their offense and make it right. Let me know when you call the offenders and hold them accountable and how that conversation went.

My phone isn't ringing so much anymore.

Sorry Dear Jane for your trials but it's good that you immediately knew to get angry. Celebrate that they can no longer victimize you! You are strong enough to stand up for yourself and you'll never allow yourself or family to go through anything like that again! THAT IS GREAT!!! You were strong enough to stand up to her! THAT IS GREAT! You can feel really good about that! Do you know what a struggle it can be to just be able to do that?? Seriously!! :D

~SH :cool:

[butterfly]

[[[[[[[Jane]]]]]]] The Lord would not want Hannas House to be under the watchfull eye of that church!! That is a blessing you are out. For going to the party you thought you were safe. You didn"t know you were going to be attacked big time.
Now you know you can"t be in contact with any of these people at any time. Was the Lady who attacked you the same one who was at you Friday night get toghter? When your son saved you from her when he was stuffing his mouth with marshmallows? :( :D
I have learned the hard way that I need to stay away from the church woman. Whenever I meet one of them I would be advised as my wrong doings. I hope you are feeling better. butterfly[Shirley]

[InTheory]

Jane, I am so sorry!

I am so sorry!

This is so sad, I can't even believe it.

Dan

[gwen]

OH, OH, DEAR JANE!!! (((((Jane)))))

I am sitting here crying!!!

You don't need these people!!! And I believe that God will bless your vision for Hannah's Haven! (James 1:27)

We used to be foster parents and our former "pastor" used to make jokes about the fact that one of our foster children had really stinky poop! (He would even joke about it from the pulpit!!! He blamed me for what I fed her!!! BTW, he never changed her diapers, but he had smelled her a few times when she needed to be changed.) I changed his youngest daughter's diapers on occasion and it wasn't exactly the most enjoyable task!!! :p

I just send you the biggest ((((HUG))))!!!

Love, Gwen

[Jerry]

I told her about the teasing of my infant baby's penis size-
and comments about it not falling far from the tree- referring to my husband as I rounded the corner to the nursery...............

Dear Jane,,,
Was rereading this thread,and this really caught me.I can't believe vicious lowlife skum like this goes to church.I am assuming they are "females",,,,,what a bunch of sluts !!!!!!!,,,and you can tell them for me I said that !!!!!
Love Jerry
P.S. :D guess you can tell I am a little triggered.Jane, you and your precious baby just stay away from them "ho's" ;)

[Jerry]

Dear Jane,,,
Was rereading this thread,and this really caught me.I can't believe vicious lowlife skum like this goes to church.I am assuming they are "females",,,,,what a bunch of sluts !!!!!!!,,,and you can tell them for me I said that !!!!!
Love Jerry
P.S. :D guess you can tell I am a little triggered.Jane, you and your precious baby just stay away from them "ho's" ;)
Seriously Jane,,,,,,,,foreward my post to them in an e-mail,,,,,,they don't need God,,,,,,what they need is a wake-up call ;)
Love Jerry

[Carmen]

Oh, Jane, I feel so sad for you, that you expected to see friends and got stabs in the back instead. Well, I would not call such people friends anymore after that. Even if forgiveness sets in, how can you trust them again? If I were you I would stay away from them.

My son is 8 and has a bowel problem. When he doesn't make it it doooes stink. That is life. Nobody's doesn't stink. I'd tell those "ladies", "Well at least I can wash him on the outside of his little cup, more than I can say about the inside of yours."

[profnachos]

I agree with what everyone is saying. Carmen, that is a great statement.

Only God knows where these people get the urge to preach these unsolicited sermons. He is probably saying, hey, don't look at me.

[Jerry]

He is probably saying, hey, don't look at me.
Dear Prof,,,,
I love it !!!!!! Damn,,,,,,I wish I'd said that :D
Love Jerry