Jane! Tell us about the interview

[profnachos]

Thanks. :D

[jane]

OK ALL of it???? :D as if I am going to wait for you to answer and tell me you don't have time to read it all...HEHEHEHE

Funny all week I have been short with my 17 year old, on edge and kinda freaking out over little things. I like to be prepared a week in advance and my husband (who will be late to his funeral) had to do some things at work before he could get me copies of my references from his files. Said all this to say, none of you would have enjoyed being in my home this week :eek: .

I am happily now back to my old self.

Woke up this morning; dressed in professional clothes, carried my purse, date planner, and notebook full of documentation. WOW I WAS A PROFESSIONAL AGAIN !!! I feel a little guilty in saying that I LOVED THAT FEELING.

Got there 5 minutes early. I was given (and I am not Exaggerating) 20 papers of documents to read from our governor. I don't know if anyone follows our politics but our previous governor is in jail for taking "gifts". So this was 20 papers of BORING rhetoric that basically said "don't even think about taking a gift from anyone as a state employee and if you can't handle that- leave now before your interview". So I left. No sir, I signed.

The Human Resources manager was really nice, he was the first interviewer. HEY GUESS WHAT??? He asked me if I was married to someone named Tony.. Turns out he knows my husband, worked for him at his last job and LOVES THE GUY :p . He asked me, "How come he didn't call me to tell me that you were applying." It turns out that my husband helped him in some big time jams while he worked with him. I am hoping this will help me.

Then I went to a panel of PROFESSIONALS. WOW! Only a stay at home mom who left the workforce can appreciate the sound of their language! Big words like; "dissociative disorders, developmental treatment plans..." NOT: "I gotta go pee pee" or "can I watch Barney p-l-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-a-s-e MOM!"... They didn't have sticky hands full of jelly when I shaked their hands AND they looked at me eye level. They didn't pull on my shirt to get my attention nor did they wipe their noses on it :p .

Now, don't get the wrong idea, I LOVE BEING A MOM. It was just nice to be JANE the social worker again.

I answered all the questions correctly and really connected to two of the three panelists.

They interviewed before me and after me. The girl before me looks fresh out of high school but the one after me looked like competition. I don't know about her experience but she was really beautiful so I said Thanks to God that two of the panelists were married women!!! I have been told that they interviewed a lot of people for this position. I guess $25 an hour for a part time job is desirable to others as well.

The human resources guy who knew my husband told me that if I am chosen and I decide I want to work case work full time that he has openings.

I declined telling him that I can't do investigative work for DCF because my son has special needs. Investigative social workers work 40 hour a week PLUS if they get called out to a crisis to place a child. Most workers work 60 hours.

Honestly I don't want the responsibility to decide when parents are abusing their children. Seems to me abusive parents can hide things and non-abusive ones may look abusive. I don't have the courage to play God in those areas of social work. Didn't tell him that though. If I took the job of a child protective worker, I would start at $65,000. We sure could use the money but it is just not in me at this point in my life.


OKOK OK I know, I have lost your attention already but here is the bottom line:

Even if I don't get a job offer, I faced my monster. The self esteem that has been beaten up over the last several years came back. I stood tall, proud and believed in myself. My creditidentials are excellant; I went to a great college that is known for being difficult. My work history is postive with great letters of reference. When it comes to children with mental health issues; I am awesome! If I am not chosen for this job, I know now that I am ready and will flood the field with resumes!


Thanks for asking!

love,
Jane

[InTheory]

Thanks for the update, Jane.

We're rooting for you!!!

Dan

[butterfly]

:D Jane, Hope you get the job. :D Butterfly

[Michael]

I stood tall, proud and believed in myself.

Hooorrraaaay for Jane!!!! Very cool.

In His Grace,

Michael

[profnachos]

I don't know about her experience but she was really beautiful so I said Thanks to God that two of the panelists were married women!!!


Could you tell us (or just me) more about this very beautiful woman? :D :D


Honestly I don't want the responsibility to decide when parents are abusing their children. Seems to me abusive parents can hide things and non-abusive ones may look abusive. I don't have the courage to play God in those areas of social work.

That has to be a really tough job. Abusers in general (spiritual abusers particularly) can hide things really well. You always horror stories about the picture perfect family with the GQ man and the trophy wife with beautiful children.



Even if I don't get a job offer, I faced my monster. The self esteem that has been beaten up over the last several years came back. I stood tall, proud and believed in myself. My creditidentials are excellant; I went to a great college that is known for being difficult. My work history is postive with great letters of reference. When it comes to children with mental health issues; I am awesome! If I am not chosen for this job, I know now that I am ready and will flood the field with resumes!

Huurrraaay.

Now back to the beautiful woman. What's her name? :D

love,
Jane[/QUOTE]

[jane]

If I knew her name I would send her to California in a pretty box with a ribbon on it just for you-

just to get her out of my competition :p

(and you thought I cared about your love life :eek: )



I love to play matchmaker- I know a few single christian women- but honestly they are those robot wives we've talked about. I know some worldly ones too but they may not be submissive enough for your conservative nature :D .


So what do you want? A christian robot wife OR a bleeding heart liberal who might just sleep with your friends - the girls too????

just kidding, I will keep my eyes open for you.

jane

[magicbear]

:p jane...... LOL..... reading your post I recalled the scene in "Stepford Wives"

where the one wife gets stabbed in her stomach,,,,, and all she does is look

up with a smile still on her face and in that very mechanical voice goes.... "I

thought we were friends"....hahhaahh hey jane use your matchmaking skills

over to the Pacific Northwest..... :cool: :p


Robert

[profnachos]

Robert,

Thanks for bringing up Stepford Wives. OMG!

Remember I told you about my two college friends who are married now. I was the guy's best man, but also was great friends with the wife as well. We shared some giddy and goofy moments together. She was one spunky girl who had so much flair about her and I could really let my hair down. Never had romantic feelings about her, but we joked about that a lot. That is how comfortable I was around her.

After years of involvement at John MacArthur's Grace Community Church, a Stepford wife is exactly what she has become. Now she has put on that "quiet submissive godly Grace woman of God" persona and I simply don't recognize her any more. All gone is her individuality. Everything she says and does sounds all canned and scripted. Before their involvment at Grace, she expressed her deep reservations about the church. Now she tells me that all the "horror stories" she heard weren't true and were made up by disgruntled ex-members.

She was a very independent thinker and I loved that about her. Stepford Wives perfectly describes the women of John MacArthur's Grace Community Church.

:p jane...... LOL..... reading your post I recalled the scene in "Stepford Wives"

where the one wife gets stabbed in her stomach,,,,, and all she does is look

up with a smile still on her face and in that very mechanical voice goes.... "I

thought we were friends"....hahhaahh hey jane use your matchmaking skills

over to the Pacific Northwest..... :cool: :p


Robert

[jane]

What do you think happens to us that we become like that?

I did that too. I am back now, but I was the perfect little christian wife etc... spurting out the lines like rote and nodding my head in disbelief towards people that didn't get it.

I don't ever want to do that again.

Was it something inside of me that needed to feel perfect?
Was it brainwashing???? WHAT???

I am sorry about your friend. I can totally understand.

jane

[profnachos]

Living a scripted life is a lot easier because it makes things predictable.

I myself tried to be at perfect godly man by mimicking those who I thought had achieved that feat.

One thing that is interesting is that we did not "wake up" until the system "betrayed" us. I began to doubt the viability of the system when acceptance eluded me. People with looks and social and athletic graces were in the inner circle which made the system's social hierarchy hardly different from high school. There is this one very popular mega church called Mariners South Coast Church in the richest part of Orange County California. I call it the church of Barbie and Ken. You should check it out if you happen to be in this area. I went to the church service a couple of times. I thought I was at a models convention.

That is also the home of Townsend and Cloud. I know they have a lot of good things to offer as many people here can attest to, but I felt extremely out of place at their church.

So some may think I am just jaded and disgruntled. Maybe. But what if I had the looks and social graces to be accepted? Would I have been a robot? That is a scary thought. What would have taken me to realize that it was my looks and social graces, not my spirituality?

What do you think happens to us that we become like that?

I did that too. I am back now, but I was the perfect little christian wife etc... spurting out the lines like rote and nodding my head in disbelief towards people that didn't get it.

I don't ever want to do that again.

Was it something inside of me that needed to feel perfect?
Was it brainwashing???? WHAT???

I am sorry about your friend. I can totally understand.

jane

[jane]

That is similar to what happened to us.

We watched other families being treated badly but we were in the "in". The pastor's mother in law was the church administrator and she was my made of honor. Her other daughter (not his wife) was my best friend- her husband the only elder for years....

When other people or families felt "left out of the loop", I didn't. I thought they were a little too emotional to complain about such a thing.

Then I left my work to stay home with a child that had special needs... suddenly we had less money.

Then we bought a fixer upper.... suddenly we didn't have the 'arrived' look.

Then we had tremendous medical difficulties...suddenly we couldn't contribute as much time.

It was awful to be on the outside looking in. I felt ashamed at the lack of love. I felt ashamed at having lost that intimacy with Christ, turned it in to be "IN" at church and was apparently never really "IN"; just being used.
Hauntingly similar to the prodigal son, don't you agree?


Did anyone at that church ever read Beauty and the Beast- we just watched it at the beach Friday night. I had forgotten it since my oldest two are boys.

The good looking prince charming was the one to be weary of; he was a beast on the inside.

The beast was the good one on the inside.

OK apart from the underlying message that ugly men can still get attractive women- it made me think about the church we just left.

Jesus is Soooo much more concerned with the conditions of our hearts, whether we are pretty, ugly, fat, thin, rich or poor.

OKOKOK I know you know this already- it is elementary- but maybe I need to write it to see it to remind myself.

We all can get caught up in trying to be beautiful on the outside.

and you're right, the roles of the script made it easy. Until that is when I would look into the mirror and not recognize myself. I remember actually looking into my eyes and wondering, "jane, where are you?" We can only pretend as long as we can decieve ourselves.... then we get sick of the person we are pretending to be.

jane

[Katie]

I can relate to what you guys are talking about.

At our old church I was in the "inner circle," like one of the head cheerleaders. When we left, I went from that status to being like a leper.

The experience has taught me a lot about myself and about others. The popularity value system is alive and well in most churches.

[profnachos]

(Geez, Jane and Katie, you were supposed to say, "But prof, you are a good looking guy. Saw your picture on your blog." At least that's what my script says. :D ).

If external factors are the main ingredients of the popularity value system, then are people in the inner circle really accepting one another? Acceptance to me means looking beyond one's weaknesses and faults, embracing one for who he/she is. At least that is what Jesus did when most of his friends were lepers, tax collectors, sinners and other rejects of society. It takes work and it takes going against our natural tendencies.

I guess it says a lot about how shallow we can be, and we often don't realize it until we are betrayed.

[profnachos]

Then I left my work to stay home with a child that had special needs... suddenly we had less money.

Then we bought a fixer upper.... suddenly we didn't have the 'arrived' look.

Then we had tremendous medical difficulties...suddenly we couldn't contribute as much time.

It was awful to be on the outside looking in. I felt ashamed at the lack of love. I felt ashamed at having lost that intimacy with Christ, turned it in to be "IN" at church and was apparently never really "IN"; just being used.
Hauntingly similar to the prodigal son, don't you agree?

The ideal scenario says that your worldly friends reject you, but those in the body of Christ rally around and embrace you as you are having a difficult journey. In my case, when I lost my job (which pales in comparison with the difficulties you are having), all I got from people in church was Christianese babble, but my non Christian friends actually did things concrete to help me get back on my feet.

Did anyone at that church ever read Beauty and the Beast- we just watched it at the beach Friday night. I had forgotten it since my oldest two are boys.

The good looking prince charming was the one to be weary of; he was a beast on the inside.

The beast was the good one on the inside.

OK apart from the underlying message that ugly men can still get attractive women- it made me think about the church we just left.
You should check out those lead singers on stage during worship and praise at churches here in Orange County. They look like beauty pageant contestants. They all look like Barbie and Ken. Most pastors look like GQ men.

[Katie]

Profnachos,

I'm sorry I forgot to mention that. You are a good-looking guy (for a serial killer :D ).

But isn't that the whole point, what difference should it matter. It reminds me of the asian/cultural discussion of a few weeks ago. Should we only associate with those of equal social, econonic, and appearance qualifications?

What is interesting to me, is that in a church the misfits are easily written off, and if they leave it's just brushed over because "they never really did fit here." But then there are the pretty folks (or wealthy) who are catered to and given positions of influence.

It is so exactly like the story from scripture where the rich folks are ushered up front. I wonder why we can't recognize it when we're a part of it.

[profnachos]

Hey now, Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy were pretty good looking guys, so thank you. I think :D .

What you just said gave me a flashback to this prison interview with Jeffrey Dahmer not too long before he got killed. After he gave a rather creepy account of his life, the interviewer asked about his life behind bars. He immediately began to rattle off about how Jesus came to his life and ... in perfect Christianese. I remember thinking how he really "got it down."

Now I am not saying his proficiency in Christianese proves that his new found faith in Jesus was fake. I don't know. Only God knows and I won't be at least a bit surprised to see him in heaven given the powerful nature of God's grace and mercy.

But people get often fooled by Christians' proficiency in Christianese and see it as a sign of spiritual depth. But because I've been burned by it so much that I tend to think the exact opposite which further explains why I tend to be a misfit. There are people use speak Christianese and are genuine, I am sure. If they'd only learn to use their own words instead of committing plagiarism.

Anyway, just had to share with you my flashback to the interview. And yes, most serial killers are very good looking people.

And come to think of it, most serial spiritual abusers are very good looking people.



Profnachos,

I'm sorry I forgot to mention that. You are a good-looking guy (for a serial killer :D ).

But isn't that the whole point, what difference should it matter. It reminds me of the asian/cultural discussion of a few weeks ago. Should we only associate with those of equal social, econonic, and appearance qualifications?

What is interesting to me, is that in a church the misfits are easily written off, and if they leave it's just brushed over because "they never really did fit here." But then there are the pretty folks (or wealthy) who are catered to and given positions of influence.

It is so exactly like the story from scripture where the rich folks are ushered up front. I wonder why we can't recognize it when we're a part of it.