For Sarah . J, re: PTSD,

[Kerrin]

If you search the archives you'll find a lot of discussion on PTSD, it is an extremly debilitating, emotionally, and physically crippling, disorder , for those of us who have been diagnosed with it!
And results , usually from years of persistant abuse; physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual etc..... :(
Once , only attributed to those who have been engaged in war, or survived war; the disorder's sympton's are common in "abuse" victims'

I never believed my Doctor when she told me that I had it, but now , now, I do!!!
It's VERY real!! :eek:

Love
Kerrin :o

[Katie]

My personal understanding and experience of ptsd is this:

1. A specific instance of spiritual abuse caused extreme trauma in my life. The traumatic emotions included betrayal, violation, fear, shame, rejection, abandonment, and grief over the losses.

2. Because of that trauma, there were actual physiological/neurological changes in response and reaction to the event.

3. There is now a real physical memory that reacts in response to situations that trigger the possibility of a reoccurence of the event. The body, sensing the need to protect, will produce an adrenaline reaction like in an emergency.

4. For me, there are some very normal sounding words that, when put in the same context as my experience, actually produce a physical panicky type feeling. Some of my trigger words and scriptures are about being relational, community, covenant relationships, and reconciliation.

5. I think that some of my reaction to seeing those involved in the abuse is also partially related to ptsd. I continue to work on letting go of bitterness, but sometimes I think that the nauseous feeling I get hearing about them is partly a physical reaction to the memories. (Or maybe they just make me sick! :( )

6. I see my path to recovery as 2-fold, both spiritual/emotional and physical. On the spiritual end, I will work on the forgiveness issues and allow the healing to continue in my heart. I believe that as long as I'm willing, God will help me with this.

It helps me to acknowledge that there is also a physical aspect to this. It will be necessary to retrain my neurological responses to certain circumstances. I don't think a trigger has to necessarily always be a trigger. As we learn our own strength and boundaries, we can learn to tell when a situation is truly dangerous to us and when it is simply a response to a memory.

Sorry I went on and on about this. It's just something I've been thinking about.

[jane]

Here's what I am wondering about PTSD: can it overflow into a different area of your life.

If the abuse and trauma were spiritually related- can it effect other areas?

I haven't been diagnosed with PTSD BUT I feel panick when ever I see a police car (like I am a major criminal- my gosh--- ) I am afraid of being "in trouble"....
and now I feel my self esteem has crashed for this job interview. Not like me, not like me one bit.....


anyone know?

jane

[Katie]

Jane,
My guess is that these situations are triggering a similar reaction because of your abuse.

policemen = authority

You experienced abuse at the hands of authority.

job interview = submission, judgment

You will be submitting yourself to someone else's judgment and control concerning your value and worth, and also your future. Ring a bell? How often did you feel like that at your old church?

Here is how I am working on things like this. For the policemen, I would tell myself, "Some people abuse their authority, however, not all people in authority are abusive. Because I understand abuse better now, I am actually more prepared to recognize and protect myself from abusive authority."

Do you get what I mean? You can do the same with the job interview situation. Come up with some factual statements that diffuse your underlying fears.

[Katie]

I just wanted to add, that I'm not saying any of this as a type of professional, clinical advice. It has just been my experience that similar, although unrelated, circumstances can produce a physical reaction of anxiety due to the trauma of the abuse.

Knowing this a normal physical sensitivity has been helpful for me in accepting and handling what sometimes seem like irrational responses on my part.

[Kerrin]

[QUOTE=Katie]My personal understanding and experience of ptsd is this:

1. A specific instance of spiritual abuse caused extreme trauma in my life. The traumatic emotions included betrayal, violation, fear, shame, rejection, abandonment, and grief over the losses.

2. Because of that trauma, there were actual physiological/neurological changes in response and reaction to the event.

3. There is now a real physical memory that reacts in response to situations that trigger the possibility of a reoccurence of the event. The body, sensing the need to protect, will produce an adrenaline reaction like in an emergency.

4It helps me to acknowledge that there is also a physical aspect to this. It will be necessary to retrain my neurological responses to certain circumstances. I don't think a trigger has to necessarily always be a trigger. As we learn our own strength and boundaries, we can learn to tell when a situation is truly dangerous to us and when it is simply a response to a memory. Katie


Not wanting to minimise your anxious feelings, Jane, my understanding of PTSD with my own diagnosis, was that it is a complex condition resulting in actual physiological and neurological changes in the neural pathways in the brain.

Mine has arisen after years of being physically beaten , (By my husband , my parents), sexual abuse, emotional abuse and spiritual abuse of the Church.

"Trigger's" are interesting, I can get a 'whiff" of my mother's perfum , (it could be anywhere), and I literally feel sick and can't breathe.!!
I hear a car backfire and I literally "drop" to the floor! (Randy had a gun!).
I hide all the knives , because Randy used to hold one at my throat frequently!

Irrational fears, that have developed over years of being abused.

Someone may raise their hand too close to my head and I will cower or duck, (sometimes too embarrassing to explain!), for no reason.

I have left a light on every night in our home since Randy left 11 years ago, despite having a security system.
I keep a hand held alarm by my bed together with a torch!!

I used to be VERY outgoing and a risk taker. Now?, I'm scared to ,sometimes, even check my mail!

I guess , In short; for me, I re-act to normal stress in an EXTREME way.

I can't stop it.
And as Katie said it's re training those neural pathways , to alter the response, and/or reaction to a "trigger", and, try to react 'normally' to stressors.

I think, what you are describing is probably normal anxiety to the situations you described , and I do know that an anxiety attack , as such, doesn't always go hand in hand with a ptsd reaction.
I'm not sure if any of that helps.
There is a lot of information available about PTSD availabe.

That's why , for me, I'm in counselling weekly!
I acknowledge now, I need help, because these experiences are making me, (literally), "sick".
And I'm getting better, it doesn't have to stay this way,.

Love to ALL PTSD sufferers,
Kerrin ;)
Thank God!

[sarah j douglas]

Interesting reading. I know these feelings very well. I know that all of the damage to my soul through all of the various kinds of abuse, including spiritual affected me physically. I do agree with Katie about the ability we do have to overcome it. For me the triggers became nearly anything.I had that police car tug. I went through a time where the feelings shifted from afraid of the authority to a feeling of wanting to challenge the authority. This was actually a sign that I was entering a new phase of becoming free. I found many unrelated fears, things that had nothing to do with any abuse I suffered. it was just that my soul was so fragmented there was room for all kinds of fear to speak to me. For me It all came down to my soul being restored. The more restored the less triggers. The condition of my soul directly affects my thinking and health. Like James said...above all He hoped we would prosper and be in health even as our soul prospers. I found this was a clue for me. As my soul became restored the triggers diminished. I'm not afraid of my kids falling out of moving cars or getting rapped anymore, I still feel a little tug about money because of my times of living in the car, and of course ...I'm still working on the dentist.
sarah j

[jane]

I'm not sure if any of that helps


helps alot Kerrin, thankyou. :)

jane