back from prayer

[sarah j douglas]

Hi everyone,

I thought I'd just drop in and let you all know that I sought the Lord about this whole experience I had on this forum. I felt really misunderstood and I really hope I didn't hurt anyone. I can see now why you all felt the way you did about me and my introduction of myself. So I would ask you all to forgive my presumption that I had an answer for you. Paradoxically the ones who abuse say they have answers as I have certainly experienced. I actually found you all had some answers for me. I learned that I needed to update my site to explain my position a little better and I even wrote an article dedicated to all of you. So thank you all for just being you! :)
In Him
Sarah

[Michael]

Thanks so much for the gracious post. It is much appreciated.

As I stated in a previous post, you are welcome to post here, as far as I am concerned. I say that despite the harsh response you received from me at times in the other forum. Your initial approach really pushed some buttons.

Thanks again for this new spirit, and understanding and respecting where we are coming from.

In His Grace,

Michael

[Jerry]

Hi everyone,

I thought I'd just drop in and let you all know that I sought the Lord about this whole experience I had on this forum. I felt really misunderstood and I really hope I didn't hurt anyone. I can see now why you all felt the way you did about me and my introduction of myself. So I would ask you all to forgive my presumption that I had an answer for you. Paradoxically the ones who abuse say they have answers as I have certainly experienced. I actually found you all had some answers for me. I learned that I needed to update my site to explain my position a little better and I even wrote an article dedicated to all of you. So thank you all for just being you! :)
In Him
Sarah
Dear Sarah,,,
When you first posted,you pushed some buttons and as I review the posts,we pushed some of yours.So Forgivness ????not necessary....Better to say it in Itialin,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"Fergidabodit" :D Welcome to the Board ;)
Love Jerry

[spongfan]

Totally cool with me :cool:

Everyone has different experiences and different answers to offer. We may not call them "answers," but in a way, we all have expressed them.

Everyone is hurting here. We all have a story. We need to get those stories out in the open and tell how we have overcome those obstacles. If enough people speak out, we can beat this fundamentalist monster. This is liberation theology in action! We need to tell the Jerry Falwells of the world that we have had enough! :mad:


Spongfan

[jane]

well sarah,

I was gone while you made your debut here...

welcome to our forum. I hope it goes well for you here.

jane

[sarah j douglas]

Well thanks,
And Jerry , I a do a speaka italian, I likka that word! hehehe
sj

[Voyager]

Sarah,

After being spiritually abused, many people get triggered when they encounter someone who wants to fix them or give them the answers on how to recover. Many of us had spiritual gurus who supposedly had all the answers and didn't let us think for ourselves. Now we are beginning to find our own way again, and when someone wants to tell us what path to follow - it feels like deja vu.

I've found it best to do the following on these forums, and this way it keeps me out of arguments:

• Share my own experiences.

• Listen to and support other posters, and never correct them or get into disputes - especially over doctrinal issues.

• Share my needs, and what has worked for me.

• Never try to "fix" other posters.

These tips basically go along with the forum guidelines. You will find that the people on this forum can be great, warm, caring, loyal friends if you respect their boundaries. The only time I have ever seen the people on this forum get angry is when someone has come onboard with a "I'm going to fix you" preachy-type attitude. None of us have all the answers for ourselves, let alone for others.

I am glad that you stuck around. I hope I am not sounding preachy. I'm just trying to help you find this place as a place of care, warmth, and healing instead of getting into disputes and controversies. I hope you can hear my heart. I am not trying to correct you. I've been here quite a while, and I can tell you that this is a great place to find loyal friends who can relate to what you have gone through.

:cool:

[Michael]

Well said, Voyager. :)

In His Grace,

Michael

[sarah j douglas]

Sarah,

After being spiritually abused, many people get triggered when they encounter someone who wants to fix them or give them the answers on how to recover. Many of us had spiritual gurus who supposedly had all the answers and didn't let us think for ourselves. Now we are beginning to find our own way again, and when someone wants to tell us what path to follow - it feels like deja vu.

I've found it best to do the following on these forums, and this way it keeps me out of arguments:

• Share my own experiences.

• Listen to and support other posters, and never correct them or get into disputes - especially over doctrinal issues.

• Share my needs, and what has worked for me.

• Never try to "fix" other posters.

These tips basically go along with the forum guidelines. You will find that the people on this forum can be great, warm, caring, loyal friends if you respect their boundaries. The only time I have ever seen the people on this forum get angry is when someone has come onboard with a "I'm going to fix you" preachy-type attitude. None of us have all the answers for ourselves, let alone for others.

I am glad that you stuck around. I hope I am not sounding preachy. I'm just trying to help you find this place as a place of care, warmth, and healing instead of getting into disputes and controversies. I hope you can hear my heart. I am not trying to correct you. I've been here quite a while, and I can tell you that this is a great place to find loyal friends who can relate to what you have gone through.

:cool:
Hi Voyager, well I am trying to be really careful on my last few posts to just speak from a "what worked for me" stance. I guess I decided to stick around because I am very interested in the lives of those who went through what I did. When I was going through it all I really had no one..just the Lord. Paradoxically this reinforces my testimony on the Lord fixing me outside of any man or church. I really wanted to be fixed and really found there is no man who can fix another. I wonder however if I have left for myself a stigma anyway. I guess since you've been her a while I should heed what your saying. Your post along with the others, I'm still sensing that I am not really being understood. I sure don't want to piss any of you off, Perhaps I just don't belong here. much grace to you!

[Voyager]

So I would ask you all to forgive my presumption that I had an answer for you. Paradoxically the ones who abuse say they have answers as I have certainly experienced. I actually found you all had some answers for me.
I didn't catch your initial posts on the other forum, but when you explained above that you "had an answer" I just assumed that your posts may have been of that nature.

It's up to you to decide if you should be here or not, but I can assure you that you are very welcome here. Many of us think of this forum an A.A. group for recovering spiritual abuse victims. None of us have all the answers, but together we become an answer for each other. Not in the sense that we teach each other, or present any kind of formula to find healing - we just help each other by encouraging, listening, supporting, and sharing. As in an A.A. group, a newcomer wouldn't be expected to teach the group a new way to find recovery - they would just join the group and become a recipient of the support that the group offers.

You said that maybe we don't understand you. The only way we can understand each other is by sharing and communicating. All of us were new here once. All of us have felt misunderstood. All of us have had to open up and become vulnerable to each other. It takes a while to get used to anything new. But I wouldn't trade this forum for anything. It has really helped me recover. I hope you will find it to be a support to you also, in addition to the other forms of support that you have already found.

:cool:

[spongfan]

Sarah,

I encountered a person tonight at the coffee shop- a man who sings Christian music. I thought he was going to approach me with the "are you saved?" question, and I really got on my guard- ready to tell him about my theological credentials and how much I had been really hurt by the "preachy" types.

To my surprise, he told me that he had some of the same struggles growing up in a Southern Baptist church, and he no longer embraced that understanding of Christianity. I immediately let my guard down and was comfortable talking with him. He told me that I was the one who allowed such "preachy" people to make me feel condemned. I did not have to feel condemned by them if I did not want to feel that way. I totally agree- they have their own understanding of the gospel and so do I. I need to start thinking to myself that I might just be the one who has what they desire- and I need to stop allowing myself to be condemned by them. When I was fundamentalist, I envied those who had a more carefree understanding of God. Perhaps if I stop letting them make me feel condemned, they will secretly want what I have.

Just a thought

Spongfan :o