"How many Church people does it take to cahnge a light globe,(bulb).??

[Kerrin]

How Mnay........does it take.......?? :D


Charismatics: Only 1. They already have their hands in the air.
Presbyterian's: Lights will go on and off at pre destined times.
Amish:What's a light Bulb?
Lutheran's: None; Luthereran's don't believe in any sort of change.
Roman Catholics: None: Only candles are permissable.
Mormons Five; one codger to change the globe and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Pentecostal's :Ten: One to change the globe and nine to pray against the demons of darkness.
Baptists: At least fifteen. One bloke to change the globe, and three committee members to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chook.
Uniting Church: Undetermined, whether your light is bright, dull, or completly out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, who gives a rip? A church lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring the bulb of your choice.
Unitarian's: We aren't in favour of or against globes (bulbs). If in your own journey you have found that globes work for you, that's ok. We invite you to write a poem or compose a dance about your globe for the next service, in which we will explore numbers of light bulb tradition's, including incandescent, fluorescent, etc. all of which are valid paths to luminescence.
Word Of Faith: None: they're all over in the corner confessin' that the globe will come to life or change itself!
Seventh Day Adventists: Light Bulbs are bad for health!


( All quotation's from Mulga Bill's Dinkum Aussie.......)

:D Anyone who wants to know the tiltle ? Let me know because I ain't sellin' it , I just bought it :p

Love
Kerrin ;)

[jjc9497]

LOL...............I love it!!!!!!!!

thanks for the laught--really needed that

[mirror]

Quakers: Ten to sit around in a circle until one feels the inner light.
Christians: Three, but they're really one.

Just had to add my two denominations! It's not Aussie, but... :D

[spongfan]

United Church of Christ- None- They are too progressive to think about lightbulbs!!! :cool:

Southern Baptists: None. Too busy preachin' about the brightness of hell :eek:

[jane]

funny. :D

[spongfan]

Oh, and I have a few more! They are original ;)

Eastern Orthodox- Can't answer this one. They are still trying to figure out if lightbulbs are mentioned in the archives of the Ecumenical Councils.

Jehovah's Witness- 144,000- and all the others go door to door and tell others about the lightbulbs.

Roman Catholics- Depends on if it is a Pre-Vatican II or Post Vatican II lightbulb.

Salvation Army- Don't know, but we'll sell you a new lightbulb for a reasonable price.

:cool: Spongfan

[ex-shep]

Oh, boy here we go again. We had fun with that one in 2003.

I think I added How Many Quakers?

Two answers: They wait on the inner light.

or

Not until Friends agree after nominating committee is formed to investigate feasablility of light bulbs. Item usually tabled until next Monthly Meeting for attention to business.

[ex-shep]

Unitarian's: We aren't in favour of or against globes (bulbs). If in your own journey you have found that globes work for you, that's ok. We invite you to write a poem or compose a dance about your globe for the next service, in which we will explore numbers of light bulb tradition's, including incandescent, fluorescent, etc. all of which are valid paths to luminescence.


Having grown up in the Unitarian church, that is frighteningly accurate.

[mirror]

Oh, boy here we go again. We had fun with that one in 2003.

I think I added How Many Quakers?

Two answers: They wait on the inner light.

or

Not until Friends agree after nominating committee is formed to investigate feasablility of light bulbs. Item usually tabled until next Monthly Meeting for attention to business.
LOL! I've got to share those with my Dad! He's a Quaker pastor and he'll love it! After growing up in a spiritually abusive Quaker church (not just spiritually... I was verbally, emotionally and sexually abused in that church as well) it's amazing that I'm now finding my healing in a Quaker church. :)

[Reg]

Just popping in for a moment. Glad to see you're having a good time with this one. Me too! :D

Here's a few I have. Some may be repeats.

Enjoy :D

Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, since his/her hands are in the air anyway.



Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.



Q: How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the lightbulb exists.
Even if they can agree upon the existence of the lightbulb they may not go
ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.




Q: How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They always use candles instead.



Q: How many evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Evangelicals do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the
instructions and hope the light bulb will decide to change itself.



Q: How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. But they are still in darkness.



Q: How many Brethren does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Change?????



Q: How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.




Q: How many tv evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your
donation today.



Q: How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. But soon all thoses around can warm up to its glowing.



Q: How many independent baptist's does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, anymore than that would be considered ecumenical.



Q:How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
A:10. One to actually change the bulb and 9 to say how much they like the
old one.



Q:How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
A:25. One to screw in the new lamp. Two dozen to bind the powers of
darkness.



Q:How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
A:Well, it should require about five committees to review the idea first. If
each is staffed with half a dozen members, that's what ... 30?



Q:How many member of the church of Christ does it take to change a light
bulb?
A:5. One to change the bulb, 4 to serve refreshments.



Q:How many charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:Three, one to cast it out and two to catch it when it falls!



Q:How many charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:Twenty one, one to change it, and twenty to share the experience!



Q:How many conservative Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:Three. One to change it and two to storm out in protest if the person
changing it is a woman.!


OH OH:
Q:How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:None. If God wants the lightbulb changed He will do it Himself!



Q:How many missionaries does it take to change a light bulb?
A:10. Five to determine how many can be changed by the year 2000, four
to raise the necessary funds, one to go find a national to do the job!

[mirror]

Just popping in for a moment.
Good to see you again, Reg!

[ex-shep]

LOL! I've got to share those with my Dad! He's a Quaker pastor and he'll love it! After growing up in a spiritually abusive Quaker church (not just spiritually... I was verbally, emotionally and sexually abused in that church as well) it's amazing that I'm now finding my healing in a Quaker church. :)


It only goes to prove that spiritual abuse can happen anywhere. It is heartening you found help among friends.