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View Full Version : Some Aussie Church Humour, to lighten your weekend!


Kerrin
08-05-2005, 01:27 AM
:D Hope you gat a smile:

Excuses to use if they catch ya snoozing in Church.

"They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen"

"This is one of the 7 habits of highly effective Blokes"

"Why'd you interrupt me I was just hearing from the Lord"

"I always concentrate better with my eyes closed"

Mulga Bill explains those 'flash' new words!

"Adultery" - The sin of saying you are older than you really are"

"Caesarean section- a suburb in Rome"

"Canon- a big gun"

"Joan of Ark- Noah's wife"

"Holy water- had the hell boiled out of it"

"Rapture-from lifting somethin' to heavy"

"Prophet- opposite to loss"

"Hymns-opposite of Hers"

"Last Days- the Sale's about to end"

"Pastorate"-Past tense of 'pastor eat' "

" Paranoid-You probably think I don't know"

"Saved-Back up your computer"

What I learned from Noah.!

"Don't miss the flamin' boat"

"Remember ,we're all in the same boat"

"Remember the Ark was built by amatuers; the Tiatnic by professionals"

"Funny we haven't seen another boat in weeks"

"Those beef Steaks-whoops-cows are lookin better every day"

"Do I really have to take spiders and snakes?"

"I knew I shoulda' killed that mossie"

This book is SOoooooo funny ; written by an Aussie Minister, who is just so "real",
It has me in stiches, it is histerical!!

God Bless you all,
Love
Kerrin ;)

Hesed
08-05-2005, 03:27 AM
I enjoyed all these jokes and the other ones. Thanks for them. :D

I DID actually once hear someone say that Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. :eek:

And despite being surrounded by Aussies at my job here in London, I never realised that you call light bulbs "globes". So I learned something new too.

Voyager
08-05-2005, 04:32 PM
Excuses to use if they catch ya snoozing in Church.

"The anointing was so strong on the sermon, I was slain in the spirit!"

:eek: