Clarifying implied hypochondria!

[Kerrin]

I guess I have been sort of "triggered" to post this about emotional pain and physical pain.

For me, I find emotional pain absolutly crippling; it literally debilitates me and it hurts worse than any physical pain I can imagine.

I have been told by medical people I have an extremly high tolerance to pain , (including dentists!). :eek:
When I had my caesarian, the epidural did not work ,and the anaethetist ,(English spelling), wanted to knock me out, but I yelled at them "NO!" I wanted to see my baby born, I didn't want to wake up and be presented with a child!
So, a nurse had to literally hold my legs down ( the natural reflex when in abdominal pain is to draw ones legs up!). :(

I knew it would only take a few minutes to get her out, that's the easy part; then they could give me analgesia while they stitched me up, which is what happened,

As soon as I saw her , I screamed "now give me the Pethidine!" (demerol) :o

I used to get migraines frequently and severe; vomiting , the whole deal with shimmering lights , disturbed vision etc..

(Lots of other near misses because I didn't 'hear' my body's pain warnings, including gangrenous appendix).

When It came to Amy or my husband I would push myself beyond, probably normal limitations , ........I don't know why........I'm still trying to work that out.

I can remember Randy leaving me so sick ( not once mind you, many times) , when Amy was a baby, and I would crawl on hand and knee to feed her or change her etc..... then I would rest and then summine enough energy for him when he got home.

I have been questioned as to my ability to "perform" yesterday for Amy's birthday while claiming to feel so unwell! :confused:
I felt I was made to feel like I was exagerating..........I know people who've had a sniffle and retire to bed demanding atttention while they get looked after , which I envy beleive me! :rolleyes:

( simple' I'm used to it!).
Rationailsing getting through the next 1/2 hour is easy to do a minute at a time........and even moreso when I knew today I could rest properly.
Besides ,Amy gets really frightened by my being unwell, and asks things like "you're not going to die are you??"

Emotional pain sends me crashing big time!
Physical pain sees me pushing myself harder and harder? :confused:
So, I do whatever it takes to see her happy and 'safe'.

I would love to know what it's like to just lie back and let someone else "look" after me, so I didn't have to worry about anything, not the housework, not Amy , nothing. But I've never known any different.

So, I won't feel guity for giving Amy a birthday she'll never forget and have it implied that I'm 'really' not that unwell!!

Maybe the answer lies somewhere in the old tape of my mother making me feel like a nuisance, and the Church telling me I'm demon posessed, and lack faith! :mad:

So, I still feel like crap , in that my head hurts, and this screen hurts to look at, and I do know that (against Church instruction), I went to a Chiroprator who manipulated my spine over a few visits to where I didn't get a migraine for several years!
So, I think I'm going back.
I think I've pinched a nerve!
I know it's not going away through praying alone! Or by ignoring it or thinking I have no right to feel unwell, and care for myself! :o

Had to vent.
Love
Kerrin ;) :confused:

[jane]

Kerrin,

I would have to agree with you. I have pushed through physical pain to do something for my children- even trivial things that seem important to them.

It is the emotional pain that I can't shake sometimes.

jane

[Theodora]

((((Kerrin))))--- I can totally empathize with you! Though I've been fortunate not to have been quite so knocked down as you have been and still have to "perform," I DO know what it's like to push myself to do what I want to/need to do for the family...only to "pay" for it later. And yes...with "hidden illnesses"/poorly diagonosed illnesses, people DON'T understand. And yes...your family IS concerned when you're not functioning "up to par" and don't understand what it's like to "give one's all"---for the moment---and then not to be able to do any more. Case in point---I've just had a fairly "intense" week of "stuff" in and around the July 4th holiday, doing what I could to say goodbye to an interim pastor, welcome another (at another church yet!) AND then, to put together various surprises for my husband's family for the family reunion--July 9, but my husband and son went down to Ks. yesterday night so as to be able to have an outing to Worlds of Fun in K.C. with young cousins today. ANYWAY....I'm thankful I was able to do what I did, but now.....I AM WIPED OUT!!!...and, though I'm sorry I can't be there with them, I am also thankful to be able to retreat to my own little "corner of the world" and to take things at my speed for these three days.

I WOULD encourage you to return to your chiropractor---!!! Chiropractic care has really helped me in various ways. A question: WHY on earth did your church advise against this??!?!?!?!?!?! I don't understand what was seen as "wrong" with this!

AND...further....WHO is making you feel that your complaints aren't legitimate because you can be seen to be functioning at times??? Don't listen to them!!!

More as able....I'm about to go see if I can have another little morning nap. Of course, for you, it's evening by now.....!!! Hope you've had a good day!

Love and prayers---and thanks for posting.

Theodora

:)


I guess I have been sort of "triggered" to post this about emotional pain and physical pain.

For me, I find emotional pain absolutly crippling; it literally debilitates me and it hurts worse than any physical pain I can imagine.

I have been told by medical people I have an extremly high tolerance to pain , (including dentists!). :eek:
When I had my caesarian, the epidural did not work ,and the anaethetist ,(English spelling), wanted to knock me out, but I yelled at them "NO!" I wanted to see my baby born, I didn't want to wake up and be presented with a child!
So, a nurse had to literally hold my legs down ( the natural reflex when in abdominal pain is to draw ones legs up!). :(

I knew it would only take a few minutes to get her out, that's the easy part; then they could give me analgesia while they stitched me up, which is what happened,

As soon as I saw her , I screamed "now give me the Pethidine!" (demerol) :o

I used to get migraines frequently and severe; vomiting , the whole deal with shimmering lights , disturbed vision etc..

(Lots of other near misses because I didn't 'hear' my body's pain warnings, including gangrenous appendix).

When It came to Amy or my husband I would push myself beyond, probably normal limitations , ........I don't know why........I'm still trying to work that out.

I can remember Randy leaving me so sick ( not once mind you, many times) , when Amy was a baby, and I would crawl on hand and knee to feed her or change her etc..... then I would rest and then summine enough energy for him when he got home.

I have been questioned as to my ability to "perform" yesterday for Amy's birthday while claiming to feel so unwell! :confused:
I felt I was made to feel like I was exagerating..........I know people who've had a sniffle and retire to bed demanding atttention while they get looked after , which I envy beleive me! :rolleyes:

( simple' I'm used to it!).
Rationailsing getting through the next 1/2 hour is easy to do a minute at a time........and even moreso when I knew today I could rest properly.
Besides ,Amy gets really frightened by my being unwell, and asks things like "you're not going to die are you??"

Emotional pain sends me crashing big time!
Physical pain sees me pushing myself harder and harder? :confused:
So, I do whatever it takes to see her happy and 'safe'.

I would love to know what it's like to just lie back and let someone else "look" after me, so I didn't have to worry about anything, not the housework, not Amy , nothing. But I've never known any different.

So, I won't feel guity for giving Amy a birthday she'll never forget and have it implied that I'm 'really' not that unwell!!

Maybe the answer lies somewhere in the old tape of my mother making me feel like a nuisance, and the Church telling me I'm demon posessed, and lack faith! :mad:

So, I still feel like crap , in that my head hurts, and this screen hurts to look at, and I do know that (against Church instruction), I went to a Chiroprator who manipulated my spine over a few visits to where I didn't get a migraine for several years!
So, I think I'm going back.
I think I've pinched a nerve!
I know it's not going away through praying alone! Or by ignoring it or thinking I have no right to feel unwell, and care for myself! :o

Had to vent.
Love
Kerrin ;) :confused:

[jane]

Theodora-


FYI-

in my circle of christian friends a chiropractor is to them a warlock- that what he practices isn't medicene it is a form of witchcraft.

not saying I agree- just telling you where that connection comes from.

jane

[Theodora]

Theodora-


FYI-

in my circle of christian friends a chiropractor is to them a warlock- that what he practices isn't medicene it is a form of witchcraft.

not saying I agree- just telling you where that connection comes from.

jane

UNBELIEVABLE!!! :rolleyes: :eek:

Thanks for clarifying what the point of view might be. I had NEVER, EVER heard of such a thing!!!

Just sign me....

Your resident "innocent!"

Blessings to you this day--

T.

:)

[butterfly]

:( [[[KERRIN]] Kerrin if we lived near each other I would help you as much as I could. We learned when we were Children to go on no matter what pain we were going thru. Those skills came right thru to adulthood with us. No one can understand this as we do who have had a life time of abuse. To me it is numb and go on. It doesn"t mean we are not ill nor have pain. I agree with you and Jane when it comes to the emotional pain. :( !!! Butterfly

[Jerry]

Dear Kerrin,,,,
Holy Crap !!!!!!!! MAN !!!!!!!!! you are one tough woman!!!!!!!!!!
Love Jerry :D

[magicbear]

I have 2 of my roommates from Bible college both with degrees in ministry

who now are enjoying practicing chiropractic warlocks???? LOL amazing

where some ideas come from thanks for sharing that jane wish i knew

what makes them think that way chiropractic is merely adjusting the

back and muscles and whatnot no :spells" or hocus pocus :eek: :confused:


Robert

Ps.. jane what Im do you have msn or aim??

[Kerrin]

Theodora-


FYI-

in my circle of christian friends a chiropractor is to them a warlock- that what he practices isn't medicene it is a form of witchcraft.

not saying I agree- just telling you where that connection comes from.

jane

:rolleyes:
That was my Church's teaching too!!!

Thanks Shirley, Jane, Theodora and Jerry , and everyone for understanding , and continuing to encourage me.

FWIW; Jerry, I think living with Randy and the constant verbal ,physical, emotional abuse just left me with nowhere to go other than "survive"......
I guess you do what you have to right?? ;)

Love
Kerrin ;)

[bad girl]

I guess I have been sort of "triggered" to post this about emotional pain and physical pain.

For me, I find emotional pain absolutly crippling; it literally debilitates me and it hurts worse than any physical pain I can imagine.

Love
Kerrin ;) :confused:

Kerrin,
My heart goes out to you. Your stories have given me the idea that you have been through a LOT more than most anybody I know and stayed strong.

One word on the pain end of it, I have worked with many back patients, therapy wise, and am very concerned that mainpulations actually do more damage (yes, I talked to many patients and I have a friend who has had a headache for the past 10 years following a neck manipulation) What works? Well, when I discovered pilates, about 2 years ago, I was amazed what it could do for your body and your mind. The stretching and strengthening the core is just wonderful for the body and the spine. I found it very helpful last year when I was going through a really tough time emotionally.

I also see patients with fibromyalgia, and I find it interesting since this pain is probably not physical, but the pain centers of the brain are overstimulated.

Contrary to what you would think, these are typically strong, hardworking, driven women, not wimps. I had a discussion with the pilates teacher on this, and he finds that these women are very tight, probably from stress.

Pardon the advertisement here, but I just hoped this info. might help you.

God Bless,
Pat

[Kerrin]

:)
Thanks ALL, and thanks Pat for that info,

I used to be wary of Chiropractors when I was in my early days of nursing, mainly due to the "mistakes" made , ie, saw one person end up a paraplegic :eek:

My migraines had gotten so bad that ,back then my boyfriend at the time suggested his chiroprator, I was in so much pain and just plain tired I went and my migraines ceased to exist other than the odd headache here and there,

As I am about to undergo further blood tests for thyroid function etc.... I am wondering whether it is hormonal or "both". :confused:

Anyway, I had considered pilates as my gym offers classes, so based on your comments, and considering I am about to return to work full time as well as being a perfectionist, high acheiver etc... etc... It would be wise for me to look at anything to reduce stress!!

You are absolutly right about the personality "type" ,of women and pain/stimulus/suffering and tolerance levels :o

Thanks again for your support.
Amy is still grinning, she knows I'm hurting but the memory of this birthday for her is ALL I care about right now, ( especially as she gets older and questions ,almost, daily, why her dad doesn't try to contact her???) :( :confused:
I can't answer that one so I DO overcompensate, and one day she will be off on her own and I can lay around in bed and suffer out loud!! :p

Love
Kerrin ;)

[Theodora]

:)
Thanks ALL, and thanks Pat for that info,

I used to be wary of Chiropractors when I was in my early days of nursing, mainly due to the "mistakes" made , ie, saw one person end up a paraplegic :eek:

My migraines had gotten so bad that ,back then my boyfriend at the time suggested his chiroprator, I was in so much pain and just plain tired I went and my migraines ceased to exist other than the odd headache here and there,

As I am about to undergo further blood tests for thyroid function etc.... I am wondering whether it is hormonal or "both". :confused:

Anyway, I had considered pilates as my gym offers classes, so based on your comments, and considering I am about to return to work full time as well as being a perfectionist, high acheiver etc... etc... It would be wise for me to look at anything to reduce stress!!

You are absolutly right about the personality "type" ,of women and pain/stimulus/suffering and tolerance levels :o

Thanks again for your support.
Amy is still grinning, she knows I'm hurting but the memory of this birthday for her is ALL I care about right now, ( especially as she gets older and questions ,almost, daily, why her dad doesn't try to contact her???) :( :confused:
I can't answer that one so I DO overcompensate, and one day she will be off on her own and I can lay around in bed and suffer out loud!! :p

Love
Kerrin ;)

Hope you've had a good day. More "as able." Hang in there!!!

I've just responded to your NACR post at http://www.christianrecovery.com/vb/showthread.php?t=1892 with some further musings about your concerns and suggestions for communication on the forums...FWIW/FYI. (I've also cleared your name on our server, so you should be able to e-mail me now, if you want.)

Give Amy a special hug for me and tell her that I think that she AND her mom are pretty special people!

Love and prayers--

Theodora

:)

[jane]

funny you talk about pilates- I don't know much about them- but they sell equipment that I can purchase for my son's sensory issues at an incredible savings then if I purchased the same things from the medical catalogues!

(ie, weighted exercies balls, and giant rubber bands that he pulls and stretches)

jane

[jjc9497]

I can relate to continuing on in spite of physical pain. I once worked out my last 2 weeks at a job with a sinus infection and running a 104 fever because I didn't want to lose my 2 weeks vacation time when I quit. I agree the emotional pain is the WORST. Had a full blown panic attack last week and I was worthless for 24 hrs.

As to the chiropractic sturff--my understanding is that the manipulation part of what they do is the same thing as an osteopath (DO) will do. The therapy part is the same as what a physical therapist does--except a chiropractor doesn't need a prescription from an MD. One of the pastors at my church used to be a chiropractor until he had a stroke and couldn't physically do the work anymore. He might find that warlock stuff pretty funny (he is one of the GOOD pastors who "gets it")

[Kerrin]

[QUOTE=jjc9497]I can relate to continuing on in spite of physical pain. I once worked out my last 2 weeks at a job with a sinus infection and running a 104 fever because I didn't want to lose my 2 weeks vacation time when I quit. I agree the emotional pain is the WORST. Had a full blown panic attack last week and I was worthless for 24 hrs.

:o You do what you HAVE to do don't you??

It is intresting though the whole emotional versus physical pain thing..........I hadn't thought about it so much until now.

But as my migraine abates (slowly), I asked Amy last night how she enjoyed her "day"???
She was speechless, and said she knows I was hurting but she won't forget , that was inbetween ipod ear plugs in her ears!!! :D , (HUH?? )

That's my reward!! Better than any pain killer!
Love
Kerrin ;)

P.S I am going to pursue both the Chiroprator and pilates options though!

[Janice]

She was speechless, and said she knows I was hurting but she won't forget , that was inbetween ipod ear plugs in her ears!!! :D , (HUH?? )

I'll learn this Aussie lingo one of these days. What's an ipod??

[Satscout]

lol... the iPod is an American contamination of Australian culture; a device which can hold tons of music mp3 files and is more portable/convenient than, say, the old Walkman or CD player.

Of course, I would probably have chosen blue or purple if I were to get an iPod... but I wouldn't have enough mp3 files to justify it. ;)

[bad girl]

Kerrin,

I'm so glad you might try pilates. My first time to try it was at gym, then I found a place that specializes and started the instructor courses because I was wanting to use it in a medical setting (therapy).

ON the thyroid issue, My thyroid went out the year after having a stillborn baby and the same type marital problems, a misscariage, and my sister die in a year and a half time period.

I am sure it was the stress, and the first visit to the Dr. he said, I think this is psychosomatic, but we'll check your thyroid if you want (I had requested it) and there is was, antithyroid antibodies (hashimoto's disease),

I got treated, then I had 2 big bald spots (about 3 inchis in diameter), and had to switch to nature thyroid (of course, I had to argue this too, as they want to give synthetic) Well, the bald spots went away. I remember I was always getting sick, low grade fever flue like symptoms before. Please let me know what you find out. I just wanted to share that info.
Pat