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Tim
09-27-2004, 09:13 PM
It's an easy slide into resentful thinking. I think one of the reasons for this is that it takes the pressure off of me and lets me give personal responsibility the slip.

A resentment is so comforting in a way; it's just like a drink. There is the excitement of remembering how I was wronged and letting the resentment roll around in my mind. The self-righteous attitude that results crowds out any awareness of my sins. I can pose as a morally superior person and use that equation to tip the scales so far in my favor that I no longer feel any need to right a wrong I have commited; they all become invisble by comparison.

Let me give an example. My former employer occasionally pops into my head as an organization that wronged me by piling excessive responsibilities on me. In fact, two people now do the work that I did alone. While this organizational wrong may in part be true, I use it to grow my resentment against them while evasively neglecting the fact that I often was not a very good employee.

It is good for me to remember the fact that I have a tendency to use resentments against others to justify my own wrongs. It is best for me to follow the suggestion of the Tenth Step and "when I am wrong, promptly admit it." I am not responsible for wrongs done to me--that's God's job--but if I am to stay contently sober, I must clean up my side of the street.

Why do I welcome and nurture resentments and balk at admitting my own wrongs? Pride and fear.

"Pride grows in the human heart like lard on a pig"

Amber
09-27-2004, 09:26 PM
Thanks Tim. I need to be reminded of this truth again and again. Resentment has become a huge issue for me this past year. :\

Satscout
09-27-2004, 09:36 PM
A resentment is so comforting in a way; it's just like a drink. There is the excitement of remembering how I was wronged and letting the resentment roll around in my mind. The self-righteous attitude that results crowds out any awareness of my sins. I can pose as a morally superior person and use that equation to tip the scales so far in my favor that I no longer feel any need to right a wrong I have commited; they all become invisble by comparison.You are so right.

I fight this daily when dealing with my husband. In the anguish of trying to deal with what he is doing to me, I have to fight deep resentment that he is doing it at all. It would be SO easy to snipe back or try to attack him in response - assuming I could ever find anything that would hurt him nearly as deeply as he hurts me - but the only way I can live with myself is to not stoop to his level.

Theodora
09-28-2004, 02:13 AM
This was a "timely" thought for me, for various reasons.

Thanks so much for taking the time to post....

Keep up the good work in recovery! You're doing great!

Grace and peace--

Theodora

:D

Pilgrim
09-28-2004, 09:07 AM
:( I just grabbed the bait!!! I wish I had read this 10 mins ago!!! I just sent a nasty email to a friend who has hurt me more than once. I just spewed out all the things he did to me in great detail, leaving nothing unturned so that he would KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that he's an idiot.

Then I read this!

gulp... now I have to think about the things I've done to him and send it to him. :o

Velveteen Rabbit
09-28-2004, 09:25 AM
((((((((((((((((( Pilgrim )))))))))))))))))))))

Ouch. :( Been there. May God infuse your day with His grace.

Love you,

VR

Pilgrim
09-28-2004, 10:00 AM
It isn't easy being human sometimes! :o Thanks for the understanding, I appreciate it. And especially, thanks for the prayers! I need them!

Jerry
09-28-2004, 08:27 PM
Dear Tim,,,,
God,,,,,,this world would be so much better if all these people would just do as I say!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D
Good post Tim,,,,,,Love Jerry