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View Full Version : i had a flashback...TW


DLL
06-14-2005, 05:45 AM
last night, i was actually able to talk to one of the deacons wives who was there at my apt to excommunicate me. she no longer goes to that church either because after her husband died, the preacher tried to tell her who to be friends with and what to do with her money and to just get over his death and stuff like that. she listened when i was telling her how i thought i had been a target of spiritual abuse. i cant say she really agreed but she didnt contradict me.

today, i had a flashback about alot of the stuff i went through. i remember sitting in the police car after being arrested in front of my kids thinking "how can this be happening to me?" awakened out of my sleep where it was just me and my 2 kids, to a house full of police watching everything i did. i even over heard them telling the aressting officer how i didnt have to be taken in, but he said he was going to do it to teach me a lesson. a lesson from what? boy, what i have learned!!! i remember the pastor and deacons and their wives sitting in my apt telling me to look at all the sin going on there. all i was doing was watching a baseball game by myself. the preacher turned to this 6 people and asked" do any of you see anything good going on here?' and in unison, they all shook their heads. like little puppets programmed. but yet they couldnt tell me what was so bad going on there. they just sat silent then got up and left w/o saying a word.

its like a video that keeps playing over and over again and i cant stop it. the preacher says thats bitterness, when you keep playing it over like that. i dunno!
one thing that triggered me, was the girls told me las night that one of the main women at the church, who blames my daughters for her sons rebellion, wants my daughter to pay$ 200 for a suit coat that got lost after he and my daughter went to the prom. (2yrs ago) my daughter, my husband and i both have told this lady we dont have the coat, dont know where it is and thought it was given back to him. she still sends threatening messages to my daughter though. how can i make them stop hurting us????

Anyway,in thinking about that, i remembered something that might have led me into being bullied by this church and pastor. he was always telling me that when people are deceived they are too deceived to know they are deceived, so they need someone to tell and show them how deceived they are. and that was his job. to let people know they are deceived.

so my question is this... was i deceived? am i deceived ? am i deceived into thinking that i am on some road to recovery? am i deceived that i have the answers now? what was i deceived about? does being deceived have any symptoms to it , like abuse does? i dont know how to make this go away, to stop the video, the pain, the memories. going to another church hasnt stopped it. staying away from the other church hasnt stopped it. i dont think i can even think for myself anymore. i dont know what to think anymore. i have this flooding feeling in my mind but i dont know what it is. and every time i get that feeling, i get this horrible headache. so im just gonna go back to bed until ....... whenever.

Jerry
06-14-2005, 06:13 AM
Dear Donna,,,,,
We all have been decieved at one point or another,,,,we all "Got the T-Shirt"....You may be questioning yourself but I certinly am not questioning your progress,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ;) As our experience in recovery begins to teach us the reliability of our own point of view,,,,we begin to entertain the dangerous suspicion that those "Pastors" out there have no idea what they are talking about ;) ,,,,,,,,,,,,,Your doin good kid :D
Love Jerry

molehills
06-14-2005, 06:47 AM
I hadn't heard this part of your story before. It's officially awful. Yes, you were abused You aren't deceived. Jesus never acted like that.

I think you are doing amazingly well.

Katie
06-14-2005, 08:24 AM
DLL,

It can get pretty interesting when people start pointing fingers at who is deceived. I remember something about a mote and speck that usually applies to accusations of being deceived. I no longer judge a person according to the words they are saying, but according to the evidence of their actions. I've been stabbed in the back by those who with words said they loved me.

It is so sad how many insecure, blind leaders there are masquerading as ministers of Jesus. The worst of these insecure leaders abuse and manipulate others in order to feel powerful and in control. The best of them enable people to themselves in their need to be needed.

The problem with leadership positions is that they can take people who truly want to serve people and distort that with feelings of self-importance and superiority.

Many people who truly love people and want to serve them don't need a position or title to do that. I am looking for servanthood, real love, and humility in anyone that I would choose to follow.

joemama
06-14-2005, 01:45 PM
DLL,I've heard this kind of stuff before --my question is this:who tells the guy who can see everyone's deception when HE is decieved? --THE OTHER NAME FOR SATAN IS THE ACCUSER OF THE BRETHREN....hmmmmmm.........--Joemama

Florence
06-14-2005, 02:03 PM
Dear Donna,
I can only say that I have had many doubts and fears too and the past has haunted me for years - still does a little bit. I looked for a quicker way to heal (jumping into other churches looking for a way to prove I was worthy was what I thought would do it for me), but the thing that really helped the most was time. Lots and lots of time. It's okay to just rest. 10 years later I'm still figuring out that I don't need to rush ahead and that it's okay to rest. I hope we here on the forum can be a balm for your weary soul.
Florence