more and more people leaving "church"

[jane]

Lately I have been meeting new people, people who used to attend church but now worship alone with their family or meet in small groups or do nothing at all. None of them are angry at God, they love him... they don't believe in church anymore.

I used to think we were the only ones around here, but I am meeting more and more people.

I wonder if there is an exodus of some kind. All the people come from different churchs but their issues are almost all the same, tired of being controlled, tired of being "robbed", tired of not seeing people serve Jesus, tired of pastor worship, tired of not seeing christian service.....


Are any of you meeting people like this? Is it me or is this increasing?

Jane

[Hesed]

This is a book by a British author: A Churchless Faith (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0281054657/qid=1116710995/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/102-3286601-7596160?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) by Alan Jamieson

It addresses the phenemenon of people leaving churches in order to worship in their own homes or not at all. I'm not in that situation so the book didn't speak to me too much, but I know many people who found it quite helpful.

[DLL]

the church that i have been attending for the last few months offers different "home services". each week there are about 5-6 different people that open thier homes during worship times for people who would rather meet in smaller, more personal groups. at first i kept thinking,,,"where are all the people that come on sunday morning?' but then i learned about these cottage meetings. each one is a little different depending on age. marital status, etc.

i, too, started to not go to church anymore because it is so hard when alot of people are telling you its the wrong thing to do and you dont know anybody AND you are afraid of getting back into the same situation when you are so vulnerable. but after thinking and praying about it, i was NOT JUST gonna let this ex-pastor take it all away from me. i felt like if i didnt try to go somewhere then he'd be the winner and i wasnt about to let him win. NOT THIS TIME!!!

I AM SORRY SO MANY PEOPLE ARE LEAVING THE CHURCH BECAUSE IT ENCOURAGES ME WHEN THEY ARE THERE, AND WE DO NEED OTHER PEOPLE IN LIFE. I JUST WISH CHURCHES WOULD LEARN HOW TO MEET PEOPLES NEEDS INSTEAD OF USING PEOPLE TO MEET THEIRS.
DONNA

[jane]

For me, and I think I posted this before, so forgive me, I just don't feel like giving up my Sunday for anything.

We were at church almost every night of the week, most Saturdays and for 3/4 of each Sunday.

Where was the rest? Where was the family time?

We had small groups too but they met AFTER church and often to discuss the sermon. Our home group leader was more dysfunctional and controlling than anyone else in that church.

We were in training to be home group leaders. We just had a miscarriage, I was pregnant and we were told "You're our apprentices"

No one asked us, no one asked us if it would be too much for us ( and oh yeah my son was just diagnosed with microcephaly and we were running around to 50million medical tests). So we were "obedient and faithful". We did all the homework that we were told too, we led group discussions, everything. I missed one home group because of really bad cramping--- I WAS TERRIEFIED THAT I WAS GOING TO LOOSE ANOTHER BABY-- so I stayed in bed. My husband went without me to cover. My husband missed 1 home group because he had the flu-- I went without him to cover our responsibilities. (HE DOES HAVE A JOB THAT HE HAS TO STAY WELL FOR AFTERALL!)

At the last home group, they asked if we could stay later.... Now mind you, it was MAY and I had my daughter a few days later (MAY 15th) SO I was in PREGNANT WAY!

We had our 17 year old son babysitting EVERY SUNDAY from 12:30 -4:30 for this "training".

OK GET A LOAD OF THIS: After homegroup they told us (to our face so we would not hear it from the pastor) THAT WE FAILED! We would not be home group leaders next year that we had to go through another training!

I burst into tears crying! They said we weren't committed enough, that each of us had to miss a homegroup-- if we were "leaders" we would not be able to miss ANY homegroups........They recognized that we covered for each other and that we had "an incredible love for the people of Christ" that they wanted to cultivate.

My husband was livid, he asked, "we failed? You never told us the expectations up front! We never asked for a homegroup or for this training..."

Their reply, they felt led by God and confirmed by Pastor that it was our time.

If it was our time, how did we fail?

They said because we weren't serious enough about leadership or the vision.



YUP< we won't be going to church anytime soon.....I am fuming now just remembering that jerk. All in the name of JESUS>

PUKE.

Jane

[merry-go round horse]

Ouch Jane....
I'm sure Jesus would have been more concerned with baby...and MOM! I hope you know this was a huge blunder on this man's part. How blind!!!!! Lemme guess...no reproductive problems for them. SOmetimes people just cannot relate to our pain. People who have lived here their whole lives don't understand our 11 homes in 5 states.

So sorry you had to be put through this...I would have offered a meal...or house cleaning, SOMEthing useful and kind. You were probably given a huge favor if these people couln't see that you should have been receiving and not giving at that stage in your lives. :mad:
MGRH

[Jerry]

Dear Jane,,,
I just read your "Failed" post......It's times like this that I so wish that this wasn't a "Christian" site ;) I have sooooooo many "Colorful Metaphores" that I wish I could put at your disposal :D
Love Jerry