Answer to prayer

[bad girl]

Today I was praying that God would help me with this church hurt. I seem to obsess with it, like it has hurt me so deeply I can't move on, and at the same time, I fight the urge to go back and prove I'm not rebellious, heal relationships, etc.

I just kept praying, everytime I wanted to think about it, I would pray for God to send me help.

Well, we were having a party for the kids at a school team tonight and one of the moms was there who went to the church I left. I sorta backed up when I saw her, wanting to avoid the questions, but she brought it up as I expected. Well, then, she said, "we left the church too". I finally opened up to her and told her what happened to me.

Anyway, we talked for about an hour and I found out that my situation wasn't just isolated. There was a real spiritual tug of war there and I was one of a larger "battle" going on. I believe now that I was "released" and that God was having mercy on me. There were a lot of specifics I found out that helped me understand the overall situation there.

Anyway, God is awesome! :)
Pat

[Jerry]

See Pat ?????? your not a "bad girl" after all :D
Love Jerry

[Kerrin]

Today I was praying that God would help me with this church hurt. I seem to obsess with it, like it has hurt me so deeply I can't move on, and at the same time, I fight the urge to go back and prove I'm not rebellious, heal relationships, etc.

I just kept praying, everytime I wanted to think about it, I would pray for God to send me help.
Anyway, God is awesome! :)
Pat


How amazinig is our God???
I ran into our Old Vicar.(Pastor), and his wife at "my" supermarket!
I haven't seen them since October !!!
I didn't run.
I was shaking, my daughter wanted to 'hide', I said "No They are NOT God!"
Took a deep breath and waited for them to say something as they walked past me :eek:
Nothing! :confused:
His wife looked at me and , I'm sure I saw a smirk,not smile as she caught my eye.

I got in the car, dropped daughter home ,and said I'd forgotten something and drove off,screaming at Jesus to PLEASE help me!!
Please.Please. I don't want to hurt anymore., ( The "rush" of emotions blew me away!!! HELP!).
I wanted to run, but this is my home , not theirs, I grew up here NOt them!!

So ,I found your post! I believe That prayer was as much for me as for you Pat!! ;)
God Bless you Pat,
Love
Kerrin ;)

[Kerrin]

:o :o
Sorry Pat,
I just saw my post to your post and I meant the "bold" to be your comments!!!
Not the stuff about me :( :o

I just appreciated your prayer, even though it had nothing to do with me, it somehow "touched" me in the midst of this REALLY crazy day.

God Bless,
love
Kerrin ;) :o

[Willow]

Go Kerrin, Go Pat, Go-Go Go Kerrin/Pat!!!!!! Wooohoooo.

I'm just realizing how much GUTS we all have here. We ROCK!!!!!

[DLL]

hi pat
i just wanted to say that i obsess with the "church hurt" too. i think about it probably 90% of my day; have dreams at night that this pastor keeps following me and my family trying to convince us that his way is THE only right way. and it makes it real hard to just walk away because my husband is very much involved in this church so i still have to have contact with them on a regular basis.

but it has helped to heal by being able to talk about it, especially on here where others KNOW your pain experiencially. and trust me...there is never just an isolated case. i mean all the "non-conformists" have to be weeded out on a regular basis so the leader can stay in control. thats one area i kept getting into trouble with, because i would tell my girls that just like i didnt want them to be conformed to the world like the bible says,but i didnt want them to become conformed to the church either just because the pastor says. i wanted them to be transformed into Christs likeness. well nonetheless, my girls were told they were heathens and the other teens were not allowed to talk to them anymore.

but like i said ,the more you talk it out, the stronger you become. and i dont mean stronger rebellious wise either. but stronger to know and trust your own
personal relationship with GOD.
we are here for you. lets talk!! :) ;) :D

[Jerry]

George Washington,Thomas Jefferson,Ben Franklin,James Madison,John Hancock,Sam Adams,Pat,Kerrin,Willow,Janice,Jane,Donna,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,Ladys,just a little reminder of the rebellious company you have been keeping lately ;)
Love Jerry

[bad girl]

:) Hi,
I just read all your posts and it's so great to hear something encouraging.
I though something was wrong with me because I obsessed so much, but you're sharing here on the forum has helped me to realize this is normal. I also have had a lot of bad dreams.

George Washington,Thomas Jefferson,Ben Franklin,James Madison,John Hancock,Sam Adams,Pat,Kerrin,Willow,Janice,Jane,Donna,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,Ladys,just a little reminder of the rebellious company you have been keeping lately

This flys in the face of the authoritarianism I was being engrained with.

AS for your post, Jerry, I always tried so hard to be a good girl, but I found out that if I'm not afraid of being "bad" that I can focus more on the Lord's leadership in my life. Hence, My name and Vicar :D I'm sorta "in your face" :p toward them now, like I'll just be "bad" if that's what you think I am.

I recently watched the movie, "Luther" about Martin Luther's story. That was so inspiring. He was really "bad" :D

I just found out, every time I think, to cry out to the Lord and he is definitely hearing and sending help. Thanks, you all are really something. :)
Love,
Pat

[ex-shep]

[QUOTE=DLL]hi pat
i just wanted to say that i obsess with the "church hurt" too. i think about it probably 90% of my day;

The obessesion something every ex-member goes through. It is part of the withdrawal experience. It was maddening for me too. I hated that stage.

You are doing the right thing about talking about it online. It is way of getting it out of your system. I have learned to just accept that is where I am today. The AA slogan "This too shall pass" has been helpful for me. Admittedly there are days that I wish the this too shall pass passes. It does subside, even though it may not feel like it the time

[Kerrin]

Yeah Team!!! :D

Pat,
There's a point where I had to realize my "rebellion" was actually my personality with a voice! :p

I think it's what My ex-husband used to say he found "attractive" ,(that was before he ,and the church beat it out of me), And he called it "being Feisty"!!!

I think that's more us than rebellious! ;)

I can think of lots of other great adjectives:
Exciting.
Funny
acheivers
Loving
Kind
Humorous
Loyal
caring
Truthful
non-judgemental
Fun!!! :D
real
Happy
Sad
Giving/Genorous
Empathetic.

I'll just go get the Thesaurus!!!
Only kidding ,"ya'll" get the idea! :)

Love,
Kerrin ;)