I DO care!

[Janice]

I know I said I don't but, I do. :o

I appreciate everyone's understanding of my recent outburst and to Kerrin and Jerry my special apologies. :o

I really DO need this place I just don't like to admit it.

No I havent gone off my meds I'm just not handeling all thats going on very well.

It looks like their is no hope for the friends of ours that are getting divorced.

It looks like my girlfriend who is in the mental ward not only is bi-polar but has PTSD and a borderline multiple personality disorder. She will be in for awhile.

And yesterday my pastor, who is also a very good friend, hand a quintupal bypass. (5) He was in revory and they did an EKG and it did not look good! Evidently one of the repairs had collapsed soo he went back into surgery around 7pm last night. I've heard nothing since.

I guess this is one way of getting me out of myself. :cool:

[Kerrin]

((((((((Janice)))))))))),
Apology accepted! ;)

Life is cruel sometimes.
As we all know "stuff" seems to happen all at once!!
Pain turned inwards is, most times, a worse kinda agony isn't it??

Love,
Kerrin ;)

[Reg]

Hi Janice,

Yes, life sucks some times. Instead of life being a beach it is a bi...!

Here's a poem from someone who was on the old forum and I saved this because it was written on my birthday and touched me deeply. :(

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Broken Things - (c) Julie Miller

You can have my heart
But it isn't new
It's been used and broken
And only comes in blue
It's been down a long road
And it got dirty on the way
If I give it to you will you make it clean
And wash the pain away

You can have my heart
If you don't mind broken things
You can have my heart if you don't mind these tears
Well I heard that you make old things new
So I give these pieces all to you
If you want it you can have my heart

So beyond repair
Nothing I could do
I tried to fix it myself
But it was only worse when I got through
Then you walked right into my darkness
And you speak words so sweet
And you hold me like a child
Till my frozen tears fall at your feet

You can have my heart
If you don't mind broken things
You can have my heart if you don't mind these tears
Well I heard that you make old things new
So I give these pieces all to you
If you want it you can have my heart

[Kerrin]

Reg,
What a beautiful poem.
I know Janice loves to write and will appreciate this gift! :)
YOU ,however ,probably already knew that :D
Kerrin ;)
P.S I'm printing it for keeps. :)

[Willow]

Oh Reg... that's one of my favorite songs you just posted. I have it on my blog and listen to it a lot. Julie Miller is currently one of the most prolific christian writers in my opinion. She's not even on a christian label. If you all are interested, she and her husband have a web site at http://www.buddyandjulie.com Buddy tours with Emmie Lou Harris. Julie is just... well.... Julie. And yes... she has suffered immense spiritual, sexual, and childhood abuses. They were both in the same abusive ministry as me.... and longer than me. I was there from 80-84. They were there from the 70s until the late 80s when the ministry failed due to greed and immorality on the senior leader's end.

Janice... I love you!
Amy

[merry-go round horse]

What a great poem. A great find for me. :rolleyes: My family has done a tradition each Christmas. We have a shoe box wrapped in gift wrap. Each year we decide on a gift to give to Jesus, write it down on an index card and put it in the box. Some years we put in "more time in the word" or "more praising of a family member". Everyone picks something that's on their heart.

This last year was so tough the only thing I could write down to give to Jesus was a broken heart. My kids didn't even want to do this thing this last Christmas. We were all pretty down. Cool thing...Jesus is using my broken heart. He's mending it and he'll do something with it. In HIS strenghth...I am strong. Thanks for sharing Reg

Merry-GRH

[Kerrin]

[This last year was so tough the only thing I could write down to give to Jesus was a broken heart. My kids didn't even want to do this thing this last Christmas. We were all pretty down. Cool thing...Jesus is using my broken heart. He's mending it and he'll do something with it. In HIS strenghth...I am strong. Thanks for sharing Reg

Merry-GRH[/QUOTE]

You see how The Lord uses this Forum??? :)

So many have been blessed by YOU JANICE, because THAT poem may never have come up if it weren't for your original post!! ;)

I know you don't "feel" it OR "see" it that way ,but just read back some and think about it mate; for me??? ;)
Love,
Kerrin :)