Cat
09-24-2004, 11:38 AM
I get to yack away and noone to shut me up, this womens dream :p
Well, after a crazy summer in about one week my friend and I will be taking a camper across country to my new home. I am moving to Las Vegas, I have wanted to get away from NE for sometime ,the winters that were so much fun when I was younger is now something I dread. I have beed looking for a place and found one "just right" . It has a pool and that for me is wonderful,good exercise.
I looked up a church there and found the same type I have always belonged to and abused in. It is not to far from my house also but it scares me to death, I want to go back to church being without one is affecting my christianity ,my joy is gone , I am just not the same person happy person I was , I have felt bitterness settling in my spirit and I don't want this , I find anger there,maybe even hate,none of these things were a part of me and I want to be rid of them. I want to be the happy go lucky person I was,I pray that person is still there.
I want to try this church but I get so scared and full of anxiety. I had put myself into the other church, I let myself, be myself in that church and I was so happy there. I thought I was really accepted for myself only to find out I wasn't, the pain went so deep and I crawled back into myself and now I am so guarded I am like a coiled rattle snake ready to strike at anyone that threathens to hurt me.
I have survived a lot of things in my life and bounced back. I want this to heal
I want back my joy,my love for others, my caring.
Boy this is great I get to vent all I want , I think I will be using this thread a lot.
But then I will feel rejected if I see no one read it. Boy the wounds run deep.
:(
Well, after a crazy summer in about one week my friend and I will be taking a camper across country to my new home. I am moving to Las Vegas, I have wanted to get away from NE for sometime ,the winters that were so much fun when I was younger is now something I dread. I have beed looking for a place and found one "just right" . It has a pool and that for me is wonderful,good exercise.
I looked up a church there and found the same type I have always belonged to and abused in. It is not to far from my house also but it scares me to death, I want to go back to church being without one is affecting my christianity ,my joy is gone , I am just not the same person happy person I was , I have felt bitterness settling in my spirit and I don't want this , I find anger there,maybe even hate,none of these things were a part of me and I want to be rid of them. I want to be the happy go lucky person I was,I pray that person is still there.
I want to try this church but I get so scared and full of anxiety. I had put myself into the other church, I let myself, be myself in that church and I was so happy there. I thought I was really accepted for myself only to find out I wasn't, the pain went so deep and I crawled back into myself and now I am so guarded I am like a coiled rattle snake ready to strike at anyone that threathens to hurt me.
I have survived a lot of things in my life and bounced back. I want this to heal
I want back my joy,my love for others, my caring.
Boy this is great I get to vent all I want , I think I will be using this thread a lot.
But then I will feel rejected if I see no one read it. Boy the wounds run deep.
:(