Katie
04-09-2005, 07:39 AM
Hi everyone!
I'm just checking in. Overall, I'm doing pretty well on my recovery. I can see healing happening, and I no longer have that feeling of being stuck as a victim. I had something happen internally a few weeks ago where I went from angry resistance concerning all that had happened, to an acceptance that yes, it did happen, and yes, it was extremely painful, but it is no longer defining me.
I had an interesting day yesterday of trigger-type incidents. First I got an e-mail announcing our old church's annual "We Think We're Changing the World" conference, signed by Imreallysomething Tryingtoacthumble, Senior Leader. They think we would actually go? NOT! (And why are we even on the mailing list?)
Next a friend had a conversation with an acquaintance who still attends there. Apparently she was venting about some things going on there. In the conversation she mentioned, "I can't believe how awful Katie's friends have treated her." She was referring mainly to my former best friend, another elder's wife, who has been really aggressive in her betrayal and rejection. This ex-friend apparently tells everyone how deceived the "Smiths" (us) are.
None of this was really a surprise. It has been evident on peoples' faces when we run into them. You can always tell if people have heard negative comments about you, they start looking at you funny. What is interesting is that after hearing all this, I didn't feel hurt. I felt pity towards her and them, that they will continue on in their arrogant, abusive ways without a clue that they are so far from the mark of what Jesus would want for his people.
I am glad that through this whole thing my husband and I have not attacked the people from our former church in any way, including those in leadership who purposefully hurt us. The reason I'm glad for this is because we can walk away from the whole situation, no regrets, nothing to have to go back and make amends for. They can keep being what they are, but we are no longer bound by their lies concerning us. We are free now to move on and live what is in our hearts, and in the end, God will judge the fruit of our lives.
Life Lesson #143: I'd rather be the gossipee than the gossiper. :p
Slowly moving forward,
Katie
I'm just checking in. Overall, I'm doing pretty well on my recovery. I can see healing happening, and I no longer have that feeling of being stuck as a victim. I had something happen internally a few weeks ago where I went from angry resistance concerning all that had happened, to an acceptance that yes, it did happen, and yes, it was extremely painful, but it is no longer defining me.
I had an interesting day yesterday of trigger-type incidents. First I got an e-mail announcing our old church's annual "We Think We're Changing the World" conference, signed by Imreallysomething Tryingtoacthumble, Senior Leader. They think we would actually go? NOT! (And why are we even on the mailing list?)
Next a friend had a conversation with an acquaintance who still attends there. Apparently she was venting about some things going on there. In the conversation she mentioned, "I can't believe how awful Katie's friends have treated her." She was referring mainly to my former best friend, another elder's wife, who has been really aggressive in her betrayal and rejection. This ex-friend apparently tells everyone how deceived the "Smiths" (us) are.
None of this was really a surprise. It has been evident on peoples' faces when we run into them. You can always tell if people have heard negative comments about you, they start looking at you funny. What is interesting is that after hearing all this, I didn't feel hurt. I felt pity towards her and them, that they will continue on in their arrogant, abusive ways without a clue that they are so far from the mark of what Jesus would want for his people.
I am glad that through this whole thing my husband and I have not attacked the people from our former church in any way, including those in leadership who purposefully hurt us. The reason I'm glad for this is because we can walk away from the whole situation, no regrets, nothing to have to go back and make amends for. They can keep being what they are, but we are no longer bound by their lies concerning us. We are free now to move on and live what is in our hearts, and in the end, God will judge the fruit of our lives.
Life Lesson #143: I'd rather be the gossipee than the gossiper. :p
Slowly moving forward,
Katie