edmundshope
03-22-2005, 11:29 PM
I was adopted into a dysfunctional family. My first memories were crying on the steps of our basement, I was locked down there because I would cry at night. Being the youngest of three, my brother explain to me that I was not a real child but I was bought. I had seen the animals at the pet shop so I understood. Childhood was just abuse both physical and mental. I would go to school and be so quiet. I found an article in a magazine on the dog boy, a circus show, a boy said to be raised by wolves. I knew I must be an animal and I was afraid that the kids in school would find out. It was a crazy thought but I figured it was better being an animal than a human because humans were so cruel. As I got older I realize how wrong everything was, and I rebelled trying to hurt my parents in some way. Only reinforcing their opinion of me and my feeling of worthlessness. I turned to alcohol and drugs becoming an alcoholic at 13. Later, addicted to sex I went from one dysfunctional relationship to the next. There were good things even in all this bad. God sends his Angels doesn't he? Trust no man was my motto. When I was 21 a woman I was living with had a book called the Lion the witch and the wardrobe. The story, so much better than my life at the moment, was about an animal named Aslan who took care of children. I went to the library in that small-town to find more books about this story. The librarian found the Narnia books for me and told me that CS Lewis was a Christian. She wanted me to read some other books of his but I refrained. She seemed to have a genuine concern for me, something different and I never went back to that library. Looking back I am sure she prayed for me. As this life ended God sent me to AA where I got sober and began to learn how to live in this world. Working construction a coworker invited me to church, I had searched for peace and power through the occult, taro cards and drugs. I was brought up Catholic but the experience of getting the snot beat out of you and dressed up for church cooled me. I figured God would not be there, certainly not in a church. But he was, the preacher talked about Jesus and salvation and I felt his presence in that building. But I did not understand who he was. I knew this was the truth but soon stopped going to church. A few years later the BBC version of the Lion the witch and the wardrobe came on TV. I watched the part where Edmund joins the witch and get sick eating turkish delight . Disillusioned he rejoins his friends, Aslan forgives him and says we will never speak of this incident again. And if you know the story he dies on the stone table, in Edmunds place, to fulfill the law. When I turned off my TV I sat there in shock . I realize that I was Edmund and that Christ died for me, and boy did I cry, and boy did my life change. Jesus came to me as A Lion the king of beasts and reveled himself to me.