Feels nice to be back/Gotta run

[ex-shep]

:rolleyes: Great to forum up and running. I will try to email others to advise.
Will need prayer for this weekend. My vacation was preempted by Hurrincane Frances. So I will be working all weekend.

My in-laws are coming uninvited to begin with. My wife and made a agreement that our home was not accepting company due to my need for rest. Right now I am trying to talk them out of coming.

My wife is waiting to compete a security clearance and she might finally have a job. Prayers there. Jobs can make a Job of one. There are scarce as snow fall in San Angelo in August.

[Hol]

Hey, thanks for the email letting me know things were up again. My initial reaction is the standard one when something changes. I DON'T LIKE IT! But I'm sure I'll get used to it, and it'll be fine. I feel like I can't see, or something. Oh, well.

I'll be thinking of you this weekend; I really hope things pick up for you soon. And your precious wife, too.

My husband stopped taking his antidepressant, sort of just kept forgetting it... and now he is feeling and acting just like he was in January. It is awful. But he is just going to start taking it again, and no doubt that will do the trick. It is kind of sad to have such stark confirmation of some kind of chemical imbalance. I think we were both hoping that it wouldn't be a permanent thing for him.

Hey, do the smiles and stuff come out gray? :confused:

Blessings to you. Hol

[Pinkie Pie]

Hi Hol,

Yeah this is kind of weird (I'm "CL" by the way in case you weren't on the spiritual forum a month or so ago when I announced I was changing my screen name). I feel the same way, like I can't see or something. One thing I am glad for is you have to have a password to log on with your screen name, so imposters can't make bad posts using your screen name and make you look bad. You know?

I guess I'll figure this whole thing out eventually. I wonder if there is a way to change the color of the smileys. Let's see..... :) NOPE, I did a preview and it is still gray.... :(

[Emerging]

Oh this is fun, playing with the posts, that is. I have to admit I"m not thrilled that I can no longer reply to individual posts, where we used to be able to "branch out" as it were. But we will adapt. :confused: Eventually! :)

ADDED BY ADMIN: Actually you can respond to individual posts rather than just to the post which starts a thread. When you first 'enter' a thread, notice the button called "Display Modes" at the top/left of the thread. If you select 'Threaded Mode' you will see the flow of posts better. Lots to learn here!.

Not fun to hear about Frances making ex-shep's life more complicated. ! :( Prayers that things will ALL go as well as possible on all fronts for you all! As for the inlaws, what do you say to them that doesn't get their fur up but lets them know that now is just *not* a good time!

Hol, I'm sorry to hear about your hubby's depression. Know that feeling all too well myself. I hope you are able to find a drug-free answer, and that until that time, he's able to feel ok about taking his meds. I do think that as we are able to move more of the "stuff" out of our heads, our depression lightens considerably. Prayers for you guys, too!

Pinkie Pie, good to see you back, too! We do all have this learning curve now, huh? But I too am SO grateful that our names can't be stolen now. Whew!

Take care all! And again, great to be "home"!! :)

[galien]

Hi everyone I am glad to be back too. That was all very interesting wasn't it? It never ceases to amaze me how good we humans are at stuffing things up. as for me I have been going to yet another christian recovery group which is supposed to make me feel better in some way. During prayer last time I got angry because I could not understand how the facilitators spent 2 hours telling me how the abuse that happened to me was somone elses fault and I did not deserve it, and then prayed to God to help me get over my unforgivness, my lack of whatever. So am I the victim or the perpetrator. This is the thing about Christian stuff that always annoys me. Which is it? Either I am the person having a perfectly reasonable response to the way I have been treated, or I am the evil one who refuses to forgive, and I am expected to believe the God I love is withhholding healing from me in some way because I have failed to do something? I get so confused with all the opinions that I have not been to church for 4 weeks. I am just so sick of listening to all the rubbish. :(

[Hol]

Hi!

I DID miss that you changed your name. How funny! I'm glad to know that that is you behind that new name. I would have wondered where CL was...

I appreciate that you see what I mean about not being able to see. And it is nice to know that we are more secure here. I'll just be glad to be used to it already!

I shared earlier (somewhere!) about my husband going off his antidepressant. He's back on as of today, but it sure was a bad feeling to feel myself responding to his bleakness the way I did. You'd think after all this time and work, I would be less codependent, or whatever it is. Sometimes it seems like I can only see the world through his eyes. My own vision of it scares me too much. And when he isn't seeing clearly, I get freaked.

I'm sure I'm supposed to be seeing it through Jesus's eyes, but I can't seem to do that with much consistency. For some reason, I need a face to face person letting me know that things will be okay and that life is good. I feel so vulnerable realizing that I am still so attached to Don's moods, or outlook, or whatever.

I feel like there is a part of me missing. :(

It is really bad when all three of them are in funky places. I just withdraw and shut down; but inside I berate myself for not being a cheerful mom who is able to bring the sunshine into the house on the rainy days, so to speak. I sure don't feel like a Proverbs 31 woman, for sure.

Til later, Pinkie... Love, Hol

[Hol]

I think this is responding to Galien's post!

I hear you, man, and I empathize. The truth is the first one, by the way... you've been victimized and that is what you are dealing with; you're normal response to it. If there is forgiveness that needs to happen, God will lead you there in His own way when the time is right. At least that has been my experience.

There are alot of Christians out there who just don't understand the process, or the depth of the pain, or how long it can take to work through it all. Most Christians don't, which means a lonely trip for most of us. I'm sorry you have to feel that loneliness so acutely. I'm glad you can come here and feel a little bit connected to people who have a bit of a clue what it is like.

Hang in there; you aren't really alone... and God is on your side in big way in this process. He knows what it is like to be misunderstood. And in a very human way. That is strange to think about, isn't it. He knows what it's like to feel so cut off and alone in the universe. What an awesome God....

Thanks for sharing here, Galien... love you, Hol

[Voyager]

One great thing about this new forum software is that if someone replies to a thread, the thread is moved to the top of the forum instead of getting buried beneath hundreds of new posts. That way, if you want to keep a thread active, it will stay in view instead of getting lost.

:cool: Voyager

[Oopsie Daisey]

:rolleyes: Great to forum up and running. I will try to email others to advise.
Will need prayer for this weekend. My vacation was preempted by Hurrincane Frances. So I will be working all weekend.

My in-laws are coming uninvited to begin with. My wife and made a agreement that our home was not accepting company due to my need for rest. Right now I am trying to talk them out of coming.

My wife is waiting to compete a security clearance and she might finally have a job. Prayers there. Jobs can make a Job of one. There are scarce as snow fall in San Angelo in August.

Your in my prayers for rest and praying for your wife's security clearance and I am praying for your wife's family and what God may want to do there .....

So good to hear from you and so glad that you took time to say hello in your tiredness.

[MCM (Mary)]

Hello everyone. I've missed your company.

Galien, it might help if forgiveness is defined clearly. I think of it as not wanting to get even or take vengeance, wanting reconciliation, and wanting the best for everyone. It is not pretending that nothing happened. It is not pretending there has been reconciliation if the others are still dangerous.

We have all been victims, and we have all been wrong-doers. The differences between the godly and the ungodly are that the ungodly only care for themselves, whereas godly people really do care about others. Ungodly people, when they find they have harmed someone else, feel guilty and turn against the person they have hurt. A godly person will go and apologize. Ungodly people do not change their attitudes or behavior. Godly people will turn from wicked ways. Ungodly people look for excuses to do wrong, but godly people will fight to do right. Ungodly people seek to justify themselves, but godly people fear God. Ungodly people are into playing games, but godly people want to be honest in their dealings. Ungodly people plot evil against others. Godly people look for ways to help others.

So glad to be back with you all. Mary

[Pinkie Pie]

Hi Hol,

What you said about seeing the world through your husband's eyes really struck me. It put into words what has been going on with me, only my "corrective lenses of choice" has been my best friend of over 16 years.

Only I didn't realize that was what I was doing for the last 16 years until only recently. If she gets mad or offended about something, then I felt "obligated" to get mad or offended about it too.

It's been really hard for me the past month or so because something negative happened between her and someone else at my church (my friend and I go to the same church) and I have really started caring about this other person. And she (my friend) kind of assumed I would back off from this other person because of what was happening between THEM, but I dug in my heels (inside) and didn't change towards the other person. It has been extremely hard for me because it is the first time I have ever made a stand like that with my friend.

Like I kept struggling with feelings of guilt, like I was abandoning my friend or not being loyal or whatever, because I continued to love and care for this other person instead of getting "down there" with my friend. I want to continue to feel happy about my relationship with this other person, even if my friend doesn't feel happy. And boy did I feel guilty (and still do...if the truth be told).

I can only imagine how much harder it must be for you because you and your husband are "one".

I take baby steps of seeing the world through my own eyes, I started doing it unconsciously. Your post made me realize that was what I have been doing and why I have been so anxious lately. :eek:

I'm like, what is this going to cost me, insisting on intepreting a situation through my own eyes? In the past it cost me rejection, emotional abuse, or dismissal of my feelings. Will it happen again???? I guess that is why I am taking baby steps. Kind of like testing the waters.