Savedbygrace
03-04-2005, 09:08 AM
Oh God, I have been avoiding you lately. I am once again spiritually starving myself. I remember back a few years ago, when I was first saved, I felt your everpresent hand gently guiding me through each day. When Ed died, you were there. I felt your calm assurance that everything would be ok. My heart was on fire for you. You had wooed me, and I was yours, all yours. I remember saying that my lonely days were gone. I could not imagine feeling lonely when I had you in my life. It was so real. YOU were so real. You ARE so real.
My spiritual walk was so clear then. You placed people in my path each day that needed to hear about you, and you gave me the words to say. I was fulfilled. I was at peace. Then it all slipped away. My church let me down. They said such hurtful things. My bliss was distorted by my disappointment with people. But I still loved you. But looking back, I relied on my strength to get me through that time. And my strength is quickly fading.
His Strength is Perfect When Our Strength Is Gone.
So many Sundays after Ed died I sang that verse with tears of gratitude streaming down my face. Now, you seem like a distant memory to me. There is a think fog between us, and I am lost. Lord, please come quickly. Rescue me from this abyss. It is lonely and dark, and I am truly afraid. I want to walk again in the light of your love. I want to feel your hand gently guiding me through. This desert is dry, and I am thristing for you. I believe in you, Jesus Christ. I believe that you came to this Earth, walked on this planet for 32 years as a man. I believe you are the Son of the one and only true God. I believe that you gave your life on a cross on Calvary for MY sins. Me, Trish King. You knew my name that day over 2000 years ago. You knew my heart. You knew I would lose my husband to suicide. You knew I would sin and fall short time and time again. You knew I would take the path of addiction time and time again. You knew I would betray you, almost daily. Yet you loved me enough to be nailed to a cross for me. Each drop of blood to cover my sins. It was personal. It is not jsut a story from a book. It is not just a myth, like satan would like me to believe. YOU ARE REAL AND YOU ARE GOD.
I lie here at your feet. I ask you to take me back once again. Make me whole. You know the ugliness I carry around. The addiction. The sin. I give it ALL to you. Jesus, make me whole. I submit to your will father. Send your Holy Spirit to guide me through this valley, and I know I will feel your light on my face again.
Thank you Father. Thank you Jesus.
My spiritual walk was so clear then. You placed people in my path each day that needed to hear about you, and you gave me the words to say. I was fulfilled. I was at peace. Then it all slipped away. My church let me down. They said such hurtful things. My bliss was distorted by my disappointment with people. But I still loved you. But looking back, I relied on my strength to get me through that time. And my strength is quickly fading.
His Strength is Perfect When Our Strength Is Gone.
So many Sundays after Ed died I sang that verse with tears of gratitude streaming down my face. Now, you seem like a distant memory to me. There is a think fog between us, and I am lost. Lord, please come quickly. Rescue me from this abyss. It is lonely and dark, and I am truly afraid. I want to walk again in the light of your love. I want to feel your hand gently guiding me through. This desert is dry, and I am thristing for you. I believe in you, Jesus Christ. I believe that you came to this Earth, walked on this planet for 32 years as a man. I believe you are the Son of the one and only true God. I believe that you gave your life on a cross on Calvary for MY sins. Me, Trish King. You knew my name that day over 2000 years ago. You knew my heart. You knew I would lose my husband to suicide. You knew I would sin and fall short time and time again. You knew I would take the path of addiction time and time again. You knew I would betray you, almost daily. Yet you loved me enough to be nailed to a cross for me. Each drop of blood to cover my sins. It was personal. It is not jsut a story from a book. It is not just a myth, like satan would like me to believe. YOU ARE REAL AND YOU ARE GOD.
I lie here at your feet. I ask you to take me back once again. Make me whole. You know the ugliness I carry around. The addiction. The sin. I give it ALL to you. Jesus, make me whole. I submit to your will father. Send your Holy Spirit to guide me through this valley, and I know I will feel your light on my face again.
Thank you Father. Thank you Jesus.